


Signs of a Healthy Relationship

by TheoreticalMindGames



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance, Dancer Allura, Dancer Lance, Eventual lowkey smut, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Keith, Getting Together, Keith is a little conflicted, Klance endgame, Let Lance wear makeup 2k17, M/M, Movie nights are a thing, Mutual Pining, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pidge is a small fury of pure determination and friendship, Pining, Unhealthy Relationships, Updated weekly, doctor keith, doctor pidge, eventual klance fluff, klance, lance is a pretty boy, non-con, she/her pronouns for pidge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-02-21 22:34:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13153416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheoreticalMindGames/pseuds/TheoreticalMindGames
Summary: Keith had a good job, a job that he enjoyed and one he was good at. He had a brother who loved him and brought him dinner and let him use his washer and dryer. He had a boyfriend. He had a couple friends. He was doing good. Life was good.Except the fact that it wasn't.Keith is a trauma surgeon at the Volton Hope Hospital and doing just fine thank you very much. Except for the fact that his boyfriend of three years is starting to weigh him down. And it doesn't help that he crossed paths with a very pretty boy in the ER...NOTICE: This was written before Shiro's sexuality was confirmed by the producers of Voltron, so there is Shallura in this fic. For future fics I write I will stay true to Shiro's now confirmed, canon sexuality. Thank you for reading!





	1. C1 How To Compromise

Chapter 1

Keith had a good job, a job that he enjoyed and one he was good at. He had a brother who loved him and brought him dinner and let him use his washer and dryer. He had a boyfriend. He had a couple friends. He was doing good. Life was good.  
Except the fact that it wasn't. 

Keith walked down the hall, his dark blue scrubs contrasting the white coat. He flipped through his patients charts, yawning repeatedly. This morning was not happening for him. 

“Hey loser!” 

Keith turned around to see Pidge jogging to catch up with him. Her lab coat hung down to the middle of her thighs, and her extra small scrubs were baggy on her frame. Keith always thought it was funny that such a tiny person was the most promising neurosurgeon at the hospital. 

Keith rolled his eyes. “I have a name you know.”

“And yet you still respond to loser.” She smirked. 

Keith scowled. “Whatever.”

“Anyways,” She started, “I was gonna see if you wanted to get lunch with Shiro and I. And before you say no, Shiro told me to tell you he’s taking away your laundry privileges if you don’t come with us.” Pidge looked up at him through her glasses, determined and fierce.

Of course his brother would be blackmailing him into getting lunch.

This time Keith had a legitimate excuse. “Alec is meeting me for lunch today.” He said it like he was telling a family that their loved one didn't make it. 

He watched Pidge’s face contort into a scowl at the sound of his boyfriend's name.

“Don't look at me like that.” He snapped. “ I don’t want another fucking lecture.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “I wasn't gonna say anything.”

“Yes you were.” Keith set his charts on the nurses station desk. 

She plucked a magazine from a table and flipped through it. “Well… maybe you and Alec can join us.” 

Keith knows she’s saying this just to attempt to be nice. “That’s not gonna go well and you know it.” He sighs in defeat. People would say, ‘well if your boyfriend is such a dick why don’t you dump him?’ And Keith doesn’t know why, but he just can’t. It’s not that simple. It’s not simple when you’ve been with the same person for three years and all your memories are with him. It’s not simple when you've made friends with his friends. It’s not simple. There are good moments. There are. Keith tries to focus on those. That’s all he needs to do. He just needs to focus on the good just focus on the good focus focus-

“Keith!” 

He blinks and looks down at Pidge, who just smacked him with her magazine. 

“You were off in Wonderland for a second there. You good?” 

No. 

“Yeah, I’m good. I’ll text Shiro and schedule lunch sometime this week.” He had been putting off lunch with his brother for weeks and he did feel bad about it. 

“You don't want the wrath of Shiro to be unleashed.” Pidge teased him. 

“Shiro couldn’t be mean if he tried.” Keith rolled his eyes. 

“He really cracked down on you during our intern year though.”

His internship at the Voltron Hope Hospital felt like years ago, when in actuality it was only about 6 months. He and Pidge were the youngest ones there, both of them having taken college during the last two years of high school. Four years of undergrad, four years of medical school, and a year of internship. Pidge and himself were first year residents now, slowly make by their way up the medical food chain. Both of them had sacrificed a lot to get where they are, and that includes a social life in high school and college. Pidge was even two years younger than him, having skipped third and seventh grade. Shiro was the one who had encouraged him throughout the whole process. Keith lived with Shiro while he went to medical school at the Garrison, and Shiro was the one who convinced the Headmaster to let Keith stay, despite his discipline problem. 

“Ya, but have you seen him with Lotor? Every conversation they have is tenser than you and Alec.” The look Keith shot her made her shrink. “Too soon?” 

Keith may have given her a nasty glare, but he knew she was dead on. “I’ll see you later.” He muttered as he grabbed his charts and began his morning rounds. 

_______________

Alec was early. Keith appreciated that. 

He had one last patient to visit before he planned to take his lunch and Alec caught him on his way there. 

“Guess who?” A pair of rough hands wrapped across his eyes. 

Keith huffed, feeling too old to play this game.“Bigfoot?” 

“Ha ha very funny.” Rough stubble rubs his cheek and warm lips peck his cheekbone. Keith turns around and kisses him on the mouth. Warm and familiar. 

“You ready to go to lunch?” Alec asked, kissing Keith again. 

Keith wasn’t into public displays affection. One kiss, maybe two. Holding hands. That was the extent with Alec. Maybe he would enjoy it more if he was with someone else. 

“I just have one more thing to do, then we can.” Keith said, Alec’s grip in his bicep becoming uncomfortable. 

“Okay I’ll-” His voice stops when he hears the beeping of Keith's pager. 

“I gotta go.” Keith pulled away from him. Alec’s eyes and hands fell.

“But we planned this-”

“I have to go Alec.” 

“Babe-” 

“You know how this goes. I'm sorry.” Keith placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You'll make it up to me tonight right?” 

Keith swallowed.

There it was. 

The constant suggestive comments. The not-so-subtle blackmail.

Keith only repeated himself. “I gotta go.” 

Keith felt relief as he headed towards the Pit. He would much rather deal with dismembered and or dead people than his boyfriend. 

Signs of a Healthy Relationship by Keith Kogane. 

*

When he arrived at the Pit it was chaos. He found one of the nurses with a little girl crying and clutching her arm. 

“What happened?” he asked, his eyes scanning over the girl, and throughout the ER. 

“School Bus crash.” She said, feeling her way down the girls leg, who cried out in pain as she did. 

“It’s shattered.” Keith stated. “I’ll handle her, you go find someone else.” Keith said as he slipped the stethoscope off his neck. 

“Can you tell me your name?” He asked gently. 

“Sofia.” She said through sniffles. “My leg really hurts.” She wiped snot from her nose. A few shards of glass peeked out of her brown curls. 

“Okay, well I'm gonna take a look at it and we’ll figure out what's wrong. Can you lean forward for me a little?” 

She winced and leaned forward and Keith listened as well as he could with the loud room. He checked for a concussion and then moved onto her leg. He knew by just looking at it it needed surgery. He wasn’t gonna tell her that. He learned the hard way that you don't tell kids they need surgery. 

“Okay, we're gonna call your parents and then we’ll get a better look at your leg.” Keith wrote some things down. “I’ll be right back-”

“Sofia!” 

Keith whipped around and saw a man his age crouch down beside the girl. 

“Are you her…father sir?” Keith asked, now slightly distracted because all he saw was blue eyes and tan skin and damn. 

“No I’m her brother.” The man was breathing heavy and his hair was messy. “My mama got a call from the school and then she called me because I was closest and she didn’t have the car my papa did cause he’s at work today and usually my mom doesn't need the car but you know emergencies happen-” 

Keith couldn’t believe this guy was still talking. “Sir, please stop talking. Were going to need to take x-rays and-?” 

“X-rays? Is that gonna cost a lot of money? Because I don't know if my parents can afford that, I mean they have seven kids so you can imagine-” 

Keith cut off Blue-Eyes again. “We need x-rays so we know how to go about her surgery.”

“She’s gonna need surgery?!” Blue-eyes widened. Keith watched him fiddle with the hair tie on his wrist. Why did he have a hair tie? His hair definitely wasn't long enough for it. Why the fuck are you focusing on that of all things, Keith. 

“Yes she’ll need surgery. Are you eighteen or over? If so then you can sign the waiver forms so we can get started with the tests.” 

“Ya, I’m 25.” He said quickly. “You thought I was younger than eighteen?” One of Blue-Eyes’ eyebrows lifted, a smirk threatening to appear. 

Keith just gave him a look and found one of the nurses. “I need a full left leg x-ray, and a foot x-ray on the right.”

The nurse nodded and crouched down beside Sofia, who still had tears in her eyes.. “Okay, sweetie we're gonna get some pictures taken of your legs.”

Why did nurses talk to kids like puppies? 

“Lance can you come with me?” Sofia asked, her voice small and delicate. 

Lance. That was a nice name. 

No, stop that. 

“No he has to stay in the waiting room.” Keith said, partially to Sofia, partially to Lance. 

“But I'll wait for you the whole time, okay niña?” Lance said softly, adding a smile towards his younger sister. He bent down and kissed her forehead, squeezing her hand. “Be brave for me!” He waved as the nurse moved the bed out of the ER. 

Lance turned towards Keith. “Soooo you got a name or do I just have to call you Dr. McDreamy?” Lance said with a wink. 

Did he- did he just-

“McDreamy?” 

“You know, like Grey’s Anatomy? Derek Shepherd? I'm totally getting that vibe from you. Maybe just a bit edgier though. I mean, you do have a mullet.”

What the fuck? Keith's hand subconsciously tugged at the ends of his hair. 

“It's Dr. Kogane.” Keith scowled, glaring at him. “And I have work to do so if you’ll excuse me.” Keith moved past him. What kind of guy flirts with their sister’s doctor after she just broke her leg? 

The next few hours go by in a blur, everyone needing him all at once. There were only two trauma surgeons at the hospital, Coran Wimbledon was the attending, and Keith could have really used another one. By eight that night Keith had reset two dislocated shoulders, bandaged a hundreds cuts, pulled glass shards from a kindergartners neck, and done one surgery on little Sofia. The surgery for Sofia was the last thing in his day and when he was finished he went out in the waiting room to find Lance. He spotted him sitting in an armchair, leaning forward on his knees and bouncing his leg while fiddling with the hair tie on his wrist. His profile was all sharp, his nose, jaw, chin. 

“You’re Sofia's’ brother?” Keith approached him. Keith didn't want him to know he remembered his name. Not that it mattered. Not that Keith was worried about anything. He was cool. He was fine. 

“McDreamy!” Lance grinned, his knee ceasing its movement. “How’d the surgery go? She’s okay right?” 

God that stupid nickname. Keith scowled but proceeded to explained that the surgery went well and how long his sister would be in a cast. “We’re keeping her overnight and she should be good to go in the morning.” 

“Oh thank you!” Keith took a step back as he was enveloped in a hug. The boy arms reached all the way around Keith's torso. 

“Oh, uh yeah sure.” Keith pulled away. Lance was still beaming. He had gotten hugs from families before

“Can I go see her?” He asked, thin eyebrows raising high, revealing more of his blue eyes. 

Stop that, Keith scolded himself. 

“Yeah, follow me.” Keith said, leading him down a few hallways to Sofia’s post-op room. “She's still out, but you can go in.”

“Thank you.” Another warm smile. Lance disappeared into the room and Keith went the residents lounge to grab his things and go home. 

On his was out of the hospital, leather jacket on and hair untied, he got a series of texts. 

Alec (8:46 pm)- come ovr???  
Alec (8:47 pm) - i muss you :(((  
Alec (8:47 pm) - amd you owe me for misinng our lunch daet today….. 

Keith sighed at the abundance of typos. That meant he was either drunk or on his way there. It made Keith’s heart quicken and his palms sweat. He ignored the texts and swung his leg over his bike. He’d just go home to his place tonight and deal with Alec in the morning. 

_____________

Keith received more the next day. 

Alec (10:07 am) - babe you mad?  
Alec (10:21 am) - keith?  
Alec (10:34 am) - babe? ??? 

_____________

 

Keith’s day flew by quickly, and he would be lying if he said he didn't look forward to seeing Lance again.  
“Why do you keep looking around like that?” Pidge asked him as they walked down the hall to go eat lunch together. 

“What? I’m not.” 

Fuck. 

“Yeees you are.” She poked him in the arm. “You looking for someone?” 

“No.” 

“Is it a boy?”

“No!” 

Keith was a terrible liar and he knew it. 

“So what’s his name?” Pidge sang, nudging him playfully. 

“I’m not looking for anyone. Leave it alone.”

“Geez you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” She muttered and claimed a table near the window. 

“Sorry.” He sighed. “Alec's just pissed at me because I didn't stay over last night because I missed our lunch date.” 

“Well you had to work. You don't owe him anything Keith.” Pidge waved her fork at him. 

No, Keith didn't owe him anything. But he felt guilty and shouldn't he be grateful that he has a boyfriend in the first place? He had been with him for three years. Did her really expect something else? Maybe a forgiveness? He wasn’t sure Alec knew the concept. 

“Anyways, you still coming to movie night tonight?” Pidge stabbed at her salad. 

Movie night? Shit he forgot about that. Not really Keith's forte. Pidge was a lot closer to her friends than Keith was. “I don't know, Alec-” 

“No no no no nope.” She stopped him. “You're coming because you’ve only ever been to one! And I know that you’re not doing anything so don't come up with some bullshit excuse.” 

Keith knew he couldn't get out of this one. Pidge had him locked in. “Fine. What time?”


	2. C2 How To Spend Time Away From Your Significant Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obligatory movie night.  
> Keith is Thirsty af

Chapter 2 

Apparently movie night is a big deal. Keith was assigned to bring chips so he ran by the store right before and attempted to gently place them in the seat compartment of his bike. When he got to Pidge and her brother Matt’s apartment, he saw Shiro's car and let out a sigh of relief. Some of Pidge’s friends were going to be there, so keith was grateful for his brother’s presence. 

He knocked on the door and Matt answered, welcoming him inside and taking the chip bag from him.

“Ha! I told you he'd come!” Pidge jabbed Shiro in the chest from their place on the couch. Another guy who Keith assumed was Hunk, took up the whole armchair beside the couch and waved to him and smiled warmly. The apartment itself was small, but comfortable. The living room and kitchen were directly attached and the whole place was stocked with mismatched furniture from garage sales and flea markets. Matt was in the kitchen putting out food and making popcorn. God that smelled good. Keith could eat popcorn by the bucketful. 

“Come sit down doctor Kogane.” Pidge teased him. 

Keith rolled his eyes. “You don't even call me that at work.” 

“That's the fun of it! I switch it around.” She smirked. “Hey where the fuck is Lance?” 

“He just left rehearsal, he texted me.” Hunk piped up. 

Did she say Lance? Lance as in ‘his patients beautiful brother’ Lance? The Lance he met the other day yesterday? That Lance? 

“That bitch better show up. He’s busy all the fucking time.” Pidge grumbled.

“He's gonna come don't worry.” Hunk assured her. 

“That's what she said.” Pidge smirked and the group groaned. 

“Lance isn't here yet so Pidge has decided to make up for his jokes.” Shiro huffed. 

Keith was very confused. He didn’t fit into this group dynamic. They knew all about each other. They had collections of inside jokes that made Keith feel uncomfortable. He stayed silent, earning a few sympathetic looks from his brother. Those ‘oh it's okay Keith’ looks. He despised them. He got enough of that shit in High School. 

About fifteen minutes later, the door flew open and let in a gust of wind. 

“It's so fucking cold outside!” The person shed their hood and jacket revealing a rosy cheeked- yep that's Keith's lance. Well, not Keith’s Lance, just the Lance that Keith knew. Not that he knew him but- never mind. 

“Look who decided to show up!” Pidge exclaimed. 

“I got out of class late! See, I didn't even change- Hey it's Dr. McDreamy!” Bright blue eyes looked at him intently. It made Keith feel squeamish. Imagine that. Someone looking at him made him feel weirder than digging around inside a human body. 

“You guys know each other?” Pidge eyed the two boys.

“No.” Keith said at the same time Lance said, “Yeah! He did Sofia's surgery yesterday. Mama told me she is being such a princess about the whole thing.” 

“Oh how interesting.” Pidge looked at Keith with a devious smirk. 

When Lance shed his second coat, Keith thought he might pass out because yep, that was a cropped sweatshirt over a- is that a leotard? And some colorful leggings that hugged his ass holy shit. Keith forced himself to look away. 

>> From Podgehog <<   
Podgehog (7:39 pm) - you've got a little boy crush on lance don't you !!!!   
Podgehog (7:39 pm) - and don't try to deny it I saw u staring at his ass 

Keith didn't respond and instead shot her a death glare. She just smiled back. 

“Okay folks! Movie time!” Matt announced, bring over big bowls of popcorn. Apparently it was Hunks turn to pick the movie so Keith cradled a bowl of popcorn, reluctantly sharing with Shiro, while the opening to The Prisoner of Azkaban played. Keith found himself glancing over Lance during the movie, and the one time they met eyes, Lance shot him a wink. Keith snapped his head back to TV and tried to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks. And it didn't help that Pidge kept texting him during the movie. 

Podgehog (8:02 pm) - stop staring at lance you're eyes are gonna bug out of ur head  
Podgehog (8:19 pm) - ur face is very red sir   
Podgehog (8:24 pm) - damn lance is laying it on thiiick tonight ur not looking right now but lance is harcore staring at u too   
Podgehog (8:24 pm) - oh shiit he just winked at u !!!!!

Keith slumped down in the couch and shoved another handful of popcorn in his mouth. The group was relatively quiet, all paying attention to the movie. Keith was trying to pay attention but fucking Lance kept staring at him. Keith had a boyfriend. Well, Lance didn’t know that, but Keith did so Keith had to stay strong. But it was easy to be disloyal to a boyfriend who- never mind. Keith didn't want to think about that shit. Not tonight. 

Alec (8:30 pm) - babe you mad at me or something?   
Alec (8:31 pm) - i’m sorry if i did anything wrong…   
Alec (8:31 pm) - i love you so much 

And there it was. Right on time. The soft apology that blurred all communication between his head and his heart. He was a sucker for it and Alec really knew how to dish out sappy shit like that. 

Keith (8:33 pm) - im not mad   
Keith (8:33 pm) ive just been busy. I can stay over tomorrow night if you want?  
Alec (8:33 pm) - i would love that. I love you babe <3   
Keith (8;34 pm) - ily2

Keith pocketed his phone and sank even lower into the couch in hopes that the furniture would swallow him up. 

*

When the movie was over, Pidge and Matt invited people to stay the night. 

“Allura isn’t feeling well so I've gotta head back home.” Shiro said, rising from the couch. 

Oh fuck no. Now Shiro was leaving? Why did he have to be such a great person to his girlfriend. Well, fiancé now. Shiro finally pulled his head out of his ass and proposed about three months ago. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that Shiro was leaving him with Pidge and Lance… 

“Keith? You're staying right?” Pidge raised her eyebrows at him, staring him down. It was that ‘say yes or I kill you’ stare. 

Did he want to stay? Yes. Was his reason for staying normal and totally not related to Lance? Sadly, no.   
“Uh, I guess?”

“Great!” Pidge leapt off the couch. I'm gonna grab sleeping bags!” She slid down the hall in her socks. Keith chuckled and settled back into the couch. 

“So this is crazy right?”

Keith jumped when Lance appeared beside him. 

“What’s crazy?” Stop staring stop staring stop staring. Keith fucking hated himself right now. He had a boyfriend for crying out loud! He wasn’t supposed to be ogling other boys. 

“Like, us seeing each other again. That we both have mutual friends. I don't know.” Lance shrugged, but Keith could tell he was holding a lot of energy in. 

“Uh, I guess?” Keith was failing miserably at keeping up his cool and collected façade. 

“It must be fate.” Lance wiggled his eyebrows at Keith, whose face became very warm. 

“Lance! Stop flirting with Keith!” Pidge emerged from the hallway, but Keith could see no part of her body. She was draped in sleeping bags that drug on the floor in front and behind her. When she tossed them to the floor, her hair looked like she had stuck her finger in an electrical socket. 

“I’m just being nice!” Lance reared back, but still stayed in his spot beside Keith. 

“Ya, well Keith's firefighter boyfriend could kick your ass to Mars so.” Pidge shrugged. 

Keith watched Lance’s face carefully as he received this information. His eyebrows knit together, mouth turning downwards. He turned to Keith. 

“Your boyfriend is a firefighter?”

Okay, not what Keith was expecting but hey, he’ll take it. 

“That’s pretty cool!” Hunk added. 

“Uh yeah.” The air felt stale. 

“Has he ever saved someone's life? Does he get to slide down the pole thing? Does he get to climb those huge ass ladders?” Lance fired off questions. 

“Uh, I don’t know?” Real smooth Keith, real smooth. 

Lance snickered. “You guys are pretty badass.” 

That was also unexpected. 

Lance must have seen the confusion on Keith’s face. 

“You know, like you're a surgeon and he’s a firefighter? That's some totally like some show material badassery.”

Keith found himself snorting involuntarily. He covered his mouth as he laughed. “Bad-assery?”

“Yep. Badassery.” Lance seemed proud that he made Keith laugh. “So do I get to see picture of your hunky boyfriend?” Lance scooted in closer. 

Keith was very surprised that Lance, who was flirting with him the other day and just now, was being so nonchalant about this newfound information. And so Keith rolled with it. He pulled his phone out and showed him a couple pictures he had of Alec. There were only six. Lance immediately swooned over him, saying things like “Damn he's ripped!” and “Dang McDreamy you've got yourself a nice one”

But here’s the thing. Lance kept calling him McDreamy. To the point where Keith was wondering if he had forgotten his name. And so Keith's confusion hung out in the back of his mind all night. As they laid out sleeping bags. As Lance sat very close to Keith to him a meme on his phone. As Lance stayed there once said meme was put away. 

“You guys want to watch another movie?” Pidge asked. 

They couldn’t decide on a movie, so they put on a random Friends episode and let it play. 

Hunk fell asleep almost immediately, still curled up in the oversized armchair. Pidge was neck deep in her sleeping bag, her phone screen reflecting off her glasses. And Lance? Lance was still on the couch with Keith. His long long legs were draped across Keith's thighs. That was okay, right? I mean, Lance made it pretty clear that they were cool and that they were friends. He had literally said “Keith, we're buddies now”, and Keith being Keith, just went with it. 

It was nearing one in the morning and Pidge was drifting off to sleep. Lance was still up, watching Friends intently. 

“So McDreamy what's it like being a surgeon?” Lance said through a yawn. 

“Uh, it's busy? Exciting.” Keith shrugged. Alec never really asked him about work. “What do you do? For work, that is.” Keith stuttered. 

“I teach Ballet and Tap at Altea Academy.” 

Now the world was just fucking with him. 

“Do you work with Allura then?” 

Lance's eyes lit up. “Yeah! She's teaches ballet too. She's great- wait how do you know her?” 

“My brother is engaged to her.” 

Lance erupted. “Shiro is your brother? My god you are just surrounded by hot people.” Lance leaned back against the couch, stretching his legs out further, rubbing against Keith's thighs. Oh for fucks sake stop focusing on his legs Keith! 

“What?” 

“Your boyfriend, your brother,” he paused for a moment before flashing a smile. “Me.” He finished it with a wink. 

Keith rolled his eyes and focused back on the show. A few minutes later Lance was talking again. 

“Hey McDreamy, you got a number?” 

“My favorite number? Hmm, 18.” Keith smirked at him. He was a little drunk, not enough to be full on Drunk Keith™, but still a little loopy. 

Lance snickered. “So he does make jokes, But seriously man, can I have our number? Platonically of course.”

The way Lance said it made it sound not very platonic, but Keith was Keith, so he went with it. They exchanged numbers and when Keith received his phone back, he realized Lance had put a <3 beside his name. And because Keith was Keith, he kept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY second chapter! This one is a bit shorter, but the next one is a lot longer so it'll make up for this one. Please leave comments and kudos !
> 
> smooches xx  
> <3 Jay


	3. C3 The Key To Healthy Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith isn't doing to well. Good thing he has some friends. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!   
> Non-con. Not full explicit. Starts at 'Not that kind of bed...' and ends at 'Keith's throat was tight'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the third chapter!! Enjoy and leave some kudos and comments my pals :))
> 
> <3 Jay

Chapter 3

The next night Keith stayed over at Alec’s. He felt guilty. He hadn’t spent much time with his boyfriend lately, and he really didn’t want to piss him off. So now they were sitting on the couch eating takeout and watching Ghost Adventures. 

“Babe can we watch something else?” Alec set his chinese food carton on the coffee table. Keith found the table at a garage sale and he and Alec haggled the lady from $200 down to $25. That was a good memory. Keith archived that one. 

“Can I just finish this? There's only like fifteen minutes left.” 

Alec mumbled an ‘okay’, and went into the kitchen. 

And Keith hated that he felt guilty. 

And because Keith felt guilty, and because Keith was Keith, he let the guilt move him off the couch and into the kitchen. 

Guilt tied their strings on tight, and Keith couldn't help but follow along. The strings wrapped Keith’s arms around Alec’s waist and pressed kisses to the back of his neck. 

“We can do what you want now.” Keith muttered against his neck, pressing another kiss there. 

“Hmm okay.” Alec hummed, and Keith could feel the vibration against his chest. 

Alec turned around and kissed Keith firmly, tongue slipping into his mouth. This was familiar. This was okay. In one smooth motion, Alec hoisted Keith up and held him by the ass, carrying him to the bedroom. The way Alec carried him, it was like Keith weighed nothing. Keith liked this. He did. He liked the way that Alec playfully tossed him onto the bed and slipped off their shirts. He liked the way that he sucked marks into his chest. Alec was rough. That’s just how sex went with him. No exceptions, even when they did it in the morning. Keith thought that the morning meant soft and gentle. He was used to it now, but it didn't mean he always liked it. So Alec fucked him into the mattress and it felt okay. But Keith was used to it. 

________________

 

When Keith went back to work on Sunday evening he wasn’t too thrilled. Coran had asked him to take the night shift because he was going to some convention thing in Portland? Keith wasn't really sure, but agreed to take it. It was around eight in the evening and Keith watched people get off work and head home. Keith sighed and fiddled in his phone. He was working the ER all night so if nothing happened, then that was fine with him. He organized the supply shelves. Played a game of solitaire. Reorganized the shelves. Read through magazine. Checked the shelves again. 

>> From Lance <3 <<

Lance <3 (8:43 pm) - hey there McDreamy 

Keith suppressed a grin, despite the fact there was no one else around. 

Keith (8:43 pm) - stop calling me that 

Lance <3 - ooh he's sassy tonight 

Lance <3 - you know you love it 

Keith - I most definitely do not 

Lance <3 - hhhmmm okay ;) 

Lance <3 - what are you doin?

Keith - sitting in the ER 

Lance <3 - you know if I didn't know you were a doctor I would be very concerned 

Lance <3 - should I be concerned? 

Keith - no. I'm on a shift tonight and apparently nobody is hurt 

Lance <3 - well that's a good thing 

Keith - ya but it makes for a bored me 

Lance <3 - well I've come to save you from boredom !! :))) 

Keith - my knight in shining armor 

Lance <3 - I'm sensing sarcasm >~< not appreciated McDreamy 

Keith - sucks for you 

Lance <3 - damn your snarky I like it 

Lance <3 - in case you were wondering I'm currently destroying myself with stretches 

Lance <3 - I think my legs might fall off this time 

Oh Keith did not want to picture Lance stretching and his legs-

Keith - how is stretching gonna make your legs fall off?

Lance <3 - using stretch bands look it up they're hell. 

Keith - I thought you only taught ? 

Lance <3 - I also dance in a local company. Gotta keep up with my students too 

Keith - oh that's cool 

Lance <3 - you do any sports or anything? 

Keith - I did jiu-jitsu in high school? I just go on runs now. 

Lance <3 - dang that's pretty badass, bet no one messed with u in hs 

Keith - ya I guess. I got in a lot of fights as a kid 

Lance <3 - I've only been punched twice and it's hurts like a mf 

Keith - ya seriously 

Keith could hear faintly in the distance the sound of sirens. The phone on the wall rang and when Keith answered, the paramedic on the other side warned him they were coming in with a two burn victims. Keith hung up and called a few other residents down to the Pit. 

Keith - I gotta go. 

Lance <3 - k byeeee ;) 

He shoved his phone in his pocket and prepared the carts with burn supplies. Burns were Keith's least favorite to treat. They were the harshest wounds and the patients cries gave him a headache. But it was his job, so he gritted his teeth and got through it. 

Three hours later, Keith sunk into a swivel chair, his scrubs stained with blood. The two patients were not calm in any way and it took three to hold them down so Keith could give them a sedative. Alec had texted him, asking about the patients. He had been the one to drag the woman out. Keith admired that. That heroic and selfless aspect of his boyfriend. If only he brought that part of him to their relationship. He was spending the night at Alec's tomorrow. Keith worked a shift right after this one, and he was hoping he could manage a few naps in between the two. 

It was nearing four in the morning and Keith had finished surgery on the women, whose burns were the most severe. He collapsed on a bed in the on-call room, exhausted from the long night. He stripped off his scrub shirt, tossing it to the end of the bed and sprawled out. He tried to not think about how many people had fucked on this bed and closed his eyes. Keith had only done it once in the on-call room. Alec had insisted. And because Keith was Keith, he had gone along with it.

*

“Babe you hungry?” Alec called from the kitchen. 

Keith was about to fall asleep. He'd only managed an hour nap in between shifts and cursed Alec's couch for being so comfortable. 

“Not really.” Keith muttered, sinking lower into the furniture.

Alec closed the fridge and joined him on the couch. He pulled Keith into his side and wrapped an arm around him. 

“Your kinda quiet tonight. Everything okay?” Alec asked, carding his hand through Keith's hair. It made him shiver. He wasn’t sure if he liked it. 

“M’fine.” Keith curled into his boyfriend, hoping he'd get the hint and let him sleep. 

“Hmm you're awfully cuddly tonight.” 

Suggestive. 

“You wanna do something?” 

Low and smooth. 

Alec's hand traveled down Keith's thigh as Alec moved to lean down and kiss him on the neck. This is not the hint Keith was trying to give him. Alec sucked at his neck and maneuvered them so he was laying on top of Keith. 

“Alec can we just go to bed?” 

“Hmm yes.” Alec smirked and kissed him firmly. 

Not that kind of bed. Keith groaned in frustration. 

“Alec I'm serious I'm really tired.” 

“Just a quickie.” 

“Alec please-mpfh!” 

Alec's tongue slipped into Keith's mouth, his hands firmly holding Keith's hips down. 

Keith was so tired he felt like he was moving in slow motion. He raised his hands and pressed them against Alec's chest in attempt to push him away. 

Why couldn't he just- 

“Oh come on Keith don't be like that.” Alec chided, tugging at the smaller boys’ jeans. 

Why was Keith feeling like this? Who would turn down sex? Who wouldn't want this kind of affection and love? Keith felt broken and so tired. Not just sleepy. He was tired of it all. And he didn't want to admit it, but he was getting tired of Alec. 

His boyfriend still pressed on, rubbing Keith's crotch and sucking marks into his neck. 

“Alec can we not do this now?” 

Alec just made a low growl or moan, Keith wasn't sure which, and pinned him down harder. 

“Alec get off!” Keith squirmed beneath the larger man but Alec didn't let up. If he could just get out from under- “Alec-” 

“Shhh!” Alec hissed and kissed him again. Too rough. 

Too fucking rough. 

Too much. 

Keith whined. This wasn't okay, right? I mean they were dating but it didn't give Alec right to just have sex whenever he wanted. Keith took a breath and placed his hands in Alec's shoulders and gave him a hard shove. Just fucking pushed him up and Keith slipped off the couch and onto the floor. He grunted as his shoulder hit the ground. He knew there would be a bruise. He scrambled up to his feet before Alec could do anything else and went quickly towards the door. 

“Keith, babe where are you going?” 

So innocent sounding. 

As if he did nothing wrong. 

He didn't grab his keys or jacket, just shoved his phone in his pocket. He grabbed his boots and walked out of the apartment in socks. He tried to slow his breathing down but apparently that's pretty fucking hard when you're practically running down the stairs. It’s pretty fucking hard when your boyfriend just pinned you to the couch and- and- and-

Keith’s throat was tight. His chest was tight. His whole body felt like it was being hugged too hard. His hands shook as he took his phone from his pocket and texted Pidge. 

>>To Podgehog<< @ 7:46 pm 

Keith - are u home? 

Podgehog - obviously. I'm a hermit Keith what'd you expect?? 

Keith - can I come over? 

Podgehog - ya sure :)))))))) 

Keith was confused by the excessive smiley faces, but was grateful she said yes. He caught a bus and put his shoes on, which earned him some weird looks but at this point he didn't fucking care. Keith sat back and tried to calm down or just fucking breath correctly but they still came out choppy and short. 

When he got off the bus he walked the three blocks to Pidge and Matt’s place. Before he knocked on the door he heard people talking loudly inside. Did they have people over? Keith was suddenly conscious of the tear streaks down his face and his disheveled state. He took a breath and knocked. Pidge opened the door and took one look at him, stepped outside, and closed the door behind her. 

“What happened?” She asked, sitting on ground besides Keith, who had sunken to the floor. 

Keith shook his head, burying his face in his knees. “I can't do this anymore Pidge.” 

A small hand rubbed his back. “I know Keith.” 

It was like she knew. Well, none of this shit was new… 

“It's too much it's too fucking much.” Keith cried. He didn't want to cry. He hated crying. He hated looking weak. But Pidge knew. She knew how small he felt on the inside. And he appreciated that she didn't say anything. That she just sat there with him. 

“Hey Pidge what're you- oh.” The door swung open and fucking Lance leaned his head out. Keith looked up for a moment before burying his head and turning away. Suddenly the excessive smiley faces in Pidge’s text made sense. 

“McDreamy?” 

His voice was so soft. 

“Lance can you give us a minute?” Pidge said. 

“Uh yeah, of course.” Lance said quietly and close the door. 

“I didn't know you had people over.” Keith pulled his head up, feeling light headed.

“It's just Lance and Hunk. You're my priority right now.” 

That made Keith feel warm but also guilt. He didn't want people to worry over him, or place his needs above others. He didn't want any of that shit. 

“Do you want to come in and play video games with us?” Her small hand still rested on his back. 

“Uh, in a minute.” He cleared his throat that was scratchy from crying. 

“Okay, just come in whenever.” 

Keith sat alone in the hall for a few more moment, wiping his tears and snot away with his shirt. When he opened the door to the Holts apartment, he saw Lance and Hunk sitting on the couch playing Mario Kart and Pidge in the kitchen. 

“Hey Keith!” Hunk said warmly. 

“McDreamy! Ready to get your ass kicked in Mario Kart?” 

No mention of the his red eyes and tear stained shirt. 

Keith managed a smirk and joined Pidge in the kitchen. She was watching the bag of popcorn rise in the microwave. 

“Hey can I borrow one of Matt’s shirts? I got snot and shit all over mine.” 

“Yeah sure thing.” The microwave beeped and she pulled the bag out, shaking it as she set it on the counter. 

Keith followed her back to Matt's room and slipped off his shirt. “Where is Matt?” 

Pidge tossed Keith a dark red shirt. “He's out with Shiro.” She stopped. “Do you want to talk about what happened?” 

“No.” Keith tugged the shirt on. “I will, just- just not tonight.” 

“Okay.” He could see the weariness in his friend’s eyes, but she didn't push. They joined the others in the living room just as Lance erupted off the couch. 

“Yes! Take that Hunk!” The lanky boy danced around the room, controller in hand. “Who dares challenge the champion of Mario Kart?” Lance held his arms out wide, taunting his friends like a champion in the octagon. 

“I'll play.” 

Lance turned to Keith a wide grin spread across his face. “Ah McDreamy, I accept your challenge. But don't be surprised when you lose!” 

Hunk passed Keith his controller and Lance set up a new game. 

*

“What the fuck!” Lance’s mouth hung open as the words ‘You Win player 2’ appeared on the screen. 

“I'm just too fast for you I guess.” Keith shrugged. 

“First off, that's what she said. Secondly, I want a rematch.” Lance pouted. 

Keith rolled his eyes. He never thought that hanging out with these people would offer up a good enough distraction from- from- from- no. Keith removed the thought from his brain and threw it in the metaphorical trash can. 

But Keith knew it would be a while before he took the trash to the curb. 

“Don't be a sore loser Lance.” Pidge threw a piece of popcorn at the him. 

Lance retrieved the popcorn from the folds of his shirt and ate it, smiling cheekily at Pidge. This turned into a competition of how many pieces of popcorn in a row Lance could catch. 

“23!” Lance shouted, swallowing the popcorn. “Keep em’ coming Pidge!” Lance grinned. 

Keith laughed. A real laugh. Just forget about it Keith. Forget about Alec. Forget about it all. But the trash still sat in his mind. Forget about- forget about his hands on him and forcing him down and- 

“McDreamy? Earth to Keith?” 

Keith turned his head to see Lance waving a hand in front of his face. 

“You left us for a sec there.” Lance smirked. 

Keith’s ears rang at an unpleasant pitch. 

Pidge was back to racing Hunk, and Lance had moved over beside Keith. 

“Keith?” 

Lance's face finally came into focus. Keith cleared his throat. He realized that there was a thin silver line on his eyelids, and his cheeks were shimmering. 

It looked good on him, Keith thought.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah I'm good.” 

Had Lance used his real name? It sounded nice when he said it. 

“Well, Pidge and Hunk have made a bet so they're gonna be hogging the game for a while.” Lance settled back into the couch, his lanky legs bent at sharp angles. He was implying that he was over here to hang out with Keith. To talk to Keith. Just Keith. 

“So what do you like to do? What does Dr. McDreamy do for fun?” Lance smiled. 

Keith turned his head slowly. 

“Uh, I don't know. I don't really have hobbies.” 

“What!? So you don't do anything in your spare time? You just work all the time?” 

Did he work all the time? Apparently, because he couldn't think of anything he liked to do. “I guess?” 

“Are you asking me?” Lance smirked. “Cause I probably know less about your interests than you do. Which may not be too much of a difference from what you're telling me.” 

Keith rolled his eyes and knew he had to give Lance something to get him off his back. 

“I have a motorcycle. I enjoy that I guess.” 

Lance gaped at him. “Okay, could you be a little more badass?” 

What? 

What? 

“What else is it that makes me badass?” Keith held back a smirk. Why the fuck did he press on? Like he wants to know just how cool lance thinks he is. Cause he's definitely not interested in this tan boy. He's not. 

Lance sighed. “We’ve gone over those McDreamy. “Lance held out a fist and flicked up his pointer finger. “One, your a surgeon which might be the most badass job ever.” The middle finger joined in.” Two, you have a boyfriend who's firefighter which is probably the second most badass job.” Pinkie. That’s a weird way to count. “Three, you've got this whole edgy emo vibe going ok-” 

Keith shoved Lance’s comment about Alec in the trash can too. It was starting to get a little full.

“Emo vibe?” 

“Let me finish!” Lance pushed a finger onto Keith's lips which definitely shut him up. It shut him up so much that Keith wasn't sure he was gonna be able to talk for the next hour. 

“And four,” Ring finger. “You drive a fucking motorcycle which is the most badass vehicle to own and kinda completes your whole look.” 

“My look?” 

Oh would you look at that he can still speak. 

“Yeah! The dark and mysterious ‘I'm too cool for you’ look.” Lance accented this with air quotes. “Very captivating McDreamy, very captivating .” Lance smirked, propping his elbow on the back of the couch and leaning on his hand. 

Captivating? Keith could feel his ears get hot. Keith felt like nowhere near captivating. If anyone was captivating it was- 

“Lance!” Pidge scolded from her spot on the floor, eyes still glued to the screen. “Stop flirting with Keith. Also it's eleven and don't you have rehearsal at 6:00 in the morning?” 

Lance leaned back in the couch and groaned. “Fuck that!” He reached in his back pocket, lifting his hips up. Keith watched as his shirt slid up slightly revealing a strip of tan skin and sharply carved hipbones… 

“I gotta go.” Lance sighed sitting back up and glancing at his phone. “My company director is gonna kick my ass if I'm late to rehearsal.”

Stop thinking about his ass Keith stop it stop it stop it. 

“Nice talking with you Keith.” Lance smiled at him. 

“Yeah you too.” Keith managed, his voice sounding strangled and definitely not captivating.

Lance waved goodbye to Pidge and Hunk and slipped out the door. 

Keith looked away from the door to find Pidge and Hunk staring at him, smirks playing at their lips. 

“What?” 

“You are smitten my good sir.” Pidge gestured to him with her controller. 

“What are we living in the 1940’s? I am not smitten with him.” Keith huffed. 

Even if Keith did find him attractive in any way he would not- no never mind. Keith did not find Lance attractive or captivating. 

“You're thinking about him right now! You get all hot and bothered around him.” Pidge chuckled. 

“Stop saying that shit!” Keith grumbled. 

“She's kinda right man-” 

Keith drug his hands down his face. “Not you too Hunk.” 

“Alec would kick Lance’s skinny ass all the way back to Cuba.” Pidge cackled, clutching her stomach. 

“Oh my god okay I'm gonna go.” 

Pidge launched across the couch and grabbed onto Keith’s leg. 

“Pidge what the hell?!” 

“No you have to stay! You never stay the night anymore!” 

“Pidge I’m twenty six years old.” Keith shook his leg free of his friends clutch. 

“And?” Pidge raised her eyebrows at him. Hunk was holding in a laugh. Keith shot him a glare and redirected his gaze to Pidge, who was giving him a adult version of puppy dog eyes. Keith knew he wasn’t gonna get out of this. 

“Fine.” Keith sighed. 

>>From Alec (8:57pm)<<

Alec: Babe where are you??  
Alec: ??  
Alec: baby im sorry if i did anything wrong 

Keith scowled at his phone. I’m sorry if I did anything wrong. 

I’m sorry if I did anything wrong.   
.  
.  
I’m sorry.

Anything wrong. 

Sorry   
.  
.  
.  
If I did anything… 

“Keith?” 

Keith turned to see Pidge standing over him, a blanket in her arms. 

“You okay?” 

No. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” 

Keith hated to lie to her. He knew she saw right through it And she still didn’t press on. She didn’t ask questions until Keith was ready. Shiro didn’t give him as much space as Pidge. He always wanted to get coffee, or lunch, or a drink. “Keith you shouldn’t work so much”, “Keith you should spend more time with your friends.” He loved his brother, but sometimes he could be a little overbearing. Compared to Keith, Shiro’s life was near perfect. Owns a house. A car that’s paid off. Engaged to a smart and beautiful woman. Has a steady 9-5 job at the hospital as the medical service manager. But Keith knew his brother’s flaws. Shiro was never the same after he got home from Afghanistan. Nightmares. Phantom limb pain. Panic attacks. And Keith was there through most of it. And Shiro was there through all Keith’s shit. Shiro was just able to crawl out of his ditch a bit better than Keith. 

Keith slept on Pidge’s couch for the second time that week. Hunk went home shortly after Lance, and Pidge slept on the floor. 

Keith didn’t think he would be able to sleep. No, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He stared at the textured ceiling, searching for pictures within it and listened to Pidge breath beside him. 

“Was it about Alec?” Pidge’s voice was barely a whisper. 

Keith took quiet breath. “Yeah.” 

More silence. 

“Well you can stay here as long as you want. I don’t want you to have to be alone.” Pidge was sitting up now. 

Keith rolled over and faced her. Her glasses were off and it made her eyes look small. Innocent. Genuine. 

Slowly, Keith moved off the couch, bringing his blanket with him. He curled against Pidge and felt her thin arms wrap around his and play with the ends of his hair. And Keith let himself cry again. Pidge was the only person he’s cried in front of. Not even Shiro. 

So he cried quietly, his head resting in the crook of Pidge’s neck. Her fingers played with his dark hair. Neither of them spoke. Keith was perfectly fine with that. 

Just forget 

Forget…   
.  
.  
.  
Forget   
.  
.  
.


	4. C4 How To Problem Solve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Alec have a talk. Then Keith and Lance have a... talk...

Chapter 4 

 

It had been three days and he still hadn’t talked to Alec. He didn’t want to. Or maybe he did, but his mind and heart were screaming back and forth in his ear. So he didn’t. 

He went home with a sore neck after sleeping on the floor with Pidge. His apartment was freezing. His landlord liked to turn off the heat at night in the winter. Keith wasn’t sure if he was allowed to do that. 

Keith took a four hour nap in his bed with all the blankets he owned. Which was a lot. When he woke up he had a missed call from his brother. The voicemail was asking if he was okay and if he wanted to get lunch today. 

>> To Shiro (12:26 pm) <<

Keith - Why can't u text me like a normal person 

Shiro - Maybe I just wanted to hear my baby brothers voice. 

Keith - bullshit 

Shiro - Language

Keith - fuck you asshole 

Shiro - I’m sighing right now. 

Shiro - anyways, Do you want to grab some lunch right now?

Keith - only if you buy 

Shiro - seems to be the only way to get you to get lunch with me. 

Shiro - Alfor’s ? 

Keith - yeah meet u there in an hour. 

Shiro - drive safe 

Keith - yeah yeah whatever 

______

 

Alfor’s was the only place Shiro and Keith went for lunch. The restaurant itself is almost as old as Keith. Their usual table is nestled in the corner and there’s a dent in the side molding from the time Keith smacked his hand against the wall and broke two of his fingers. 

“How’s the best man speech coming along.” Shiro sipped his Dr. Pepper. 

Keith knew he was teasing, but it made him groan internally. 

“I’ve got like three months give me a break.” 

“I know. Just messing with you.” 

Silence. Sip of his drink. 

“So,” Shiro started. “Um, Pidge texted me.”

Shit.

“And?” 

Shiro sighed his weary sigh. Keith had heard it before. He heard it when he told Shiro he might get kicked out of college. He heard it when Keith went through his hook up phase before Alec. He had heard it. 

“And do you want to talk to me about it.”

“No.”

“Keith-”

“Shiro.” Keith stared back. “I know what you’re gonna say. I've heard the lecture. I get it from you. I get it from Pidge. Hell, even Allura has given me a talk. I know what I can handle, so just back off a little.” 

Shiro sighed again. “Keith. I know that you can handle it. But you don’t have to.” 

Keith couldn't look his brother in the eye. 

Shiro set his hand on the table. “Keith. I’m your brother. I want to help you.” 

“I don’t need help.” 

“Keith come on.”

Keith wasn’t used to seeing his brother like this. Even though it was toned down, it was clear his brother was frustrated. Shiro was the epitome of calm, cool, and collected. He only got stern when it was serious. 

Must have been serious. 

“Keith, I’m not telling you how to live your life-”

“Sure does sound like it.” 

Their conversation was paused as their food was brought out. 

A few minutes of quiet as they ate. 

“Keith.” Shiro started again. “This isn’t about simple things anymore, this-” He lowered his voice. “This is about your safety-”

“Please stop!” Keith growled, earning a few concerned looks from other patrons near them. He spoke quieter as well. “Shiro, please can we- I just want to talk about something else. Please, just-please.” 

Keith was too tired for this shit. Too tired to hear the desperation in his brothers voice.

Too damn tired for it all. 

Shiro sighed again, but lowered his head to eat his lunch. 

They didn’t talk about much after that. 

 

_________

 

Keith stared at the OR board with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Maybe if you glare at it harder it’ll come alive and fight you.” Pidge appeared beside him. 

Keith scowled at the board even more. Why the fuck isn’t his name up here. He was supposed to have a surgery today. 

“My surgery is still up there, but Lotor’s name is in my place.” Keith was sure that this was supposed to be his case. 

“He probably stole it from you.” Pidge shrugged. 

“Son of a bitch.” Keith growled. His least favorite resident, and pretty much everyone's, was Lotor Ran. 

Fucking gorgeous but a complete asshole. 

“Great, now I’m out of my own fucking case.” Keith hoisted his charts in his arms, and set the on the counter. This week was getting better and better. 

“Well just get out your anger before the fundraiser this Friday.”

“Ugh don’t remind me.” Keith groaned. 

The hospital was hurting for money for a much needed new OR. So what better way to get some cash than to host a party and invite a bunch of rich people. All residents and attendings were invited aka required to go. That meant Keith had to put on a suit and smile nice and wide and try and mooch money from rich elderly people. That meant he would have to bring a date. That meant he would have to bring Alec. 

“I know what you're thinking.” Pidge said firmly. “And you shouldn’t bring him.” 

Keith swore she could actually read minds. It wouldn't surprise him. 

“I have to take him. He’s my boyfriend.” Keith pretended to read through his charts, despite already knew them by heart. 

“Keith you're supposed to be able to win over the walking gold mines with your intelligence and charm. Do you really think you can do that if you’ve got- him with you.” 

“You can his name you know, he’s not fucking voldemort.” Keith muttered. 

“All I’m saying is that maybe you should bring a friend this time.” 

Keith is terrified by the smile appearing on his friend’s face. He knew when Pidge was plotting. He knew when she was gonna suggest something he wasn’t up for. 

“You could take Lance.” 

Yeah. Like that. 

“Pidge.” Keith looked at her. Because that was a big no, right? You can’t take someone to a party when that someone is not your boyfriend and when you have a boyfriend. You just don’t do shit like that. 

“I- I can’t do that. You know I can’t.” 

Pidge shook her head and gripped his shoulder and -oh fuck that kinda hurts. 

“Woah you okay?” Pidge pulled her hand back when Keith winced. 

He took a breath and composes himself in a matter of seconds. Quick, show no emotion, good to go. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just- just fell out of bed the other day.” 

Shit he stuttered. 

Pidge laughed at what he said. 

Oh thank god, he’s clear. 

Keith scowled at her, wanting to seem like his normal self. 

Pidge finished her laugh and became serious. “But I’m not talking out of my ass Keith. Just think about it, okay?” 

In all honesty, that was the last thing that Keith wanted to think about. 

“Wanna help me find Lotor?” 

Pidge grinned. “Oh fuck yeah.” 

 

_____________

Tuesday came and went. Then Wednesday. 

On Thursday Keith still hadn’t talked to Alec. He had gotten plenty of messages and phone calls. Keith hadn’t even read them. So when he got home from work on Thursday, he wasn’t too happy to see Alec leaning against the wall outside his door. Keith didn’t want to admit it, but he looked good. Familiar. He’s just so used to seeing that strong posture, those arms crossed over his chest. 

When Alec saw Keith he moved away from the wall. 

“Hey Keith-”

“What are you doing here?” Keith crossed his arms as well, then quickly let them hang by his side when he realized he was mirroring Alec. 

Alec sighed and took a step closer. Keith took a step back. 

“Keith, I just- I haven't heard from you in a like a week.” 

Keith had never heard his voice sound like that. 

Alec took another step. Keith stayed put. 

“I called and texted.”

“I know.” Keith tried to keep his face neutral. He was having a hard time with it. 

Alec looked down at his shoes. Keith had gotten them for him last Christmas. They looked well worn. 

“Keith-”

God, stop saying my name like that, Keith thought. 

“I’m so sorry. I- I’m just so sorry.” 

Fuck why did he look like he was gonna cry?

“I’m sorry.” He looked Keith in the eye, and fuck. Keith saw a look in his boyfriends eyes he’d never seen before. It tore Keith apart. It fucking ripped him in half.

Keith shook his head. “Alec, I- I don’t know what do say. I mean, what you did-” Keith couldn't keep going without feeling like having to cry. He shouldn’t cry. He couldn’t. 

“I know. And you don’t have to forgive me. You- you shouldn’t forgive me.” 

Fuck. 

“I just- I don’t want to lose you. I screwed up. But, please just- I love you Keith.”

Double fuck.

Another step closer. Keith stayed. 

Another step closer. Keith stayed. 

“I love you Keith.” 

Alec wasn’t touching him. Because he knew. He knew he fucked up. And Keith was ripped into quarters, eighths, sixteenths. Bits and pieces and swept into a dustpan and thrown outside. And Keith was so scattered that he wasn’t sure he could do it. Here Alec was, apologizing with actual physical tears in his eyes and saying he loved him and being so soft and gentle and- and- 

“Alec.” Keith couldn’t look at him. He was out of breath, why was he out of breath? “You- you hurt me. You pressured me, you- I still have a bruise. Did you know that?” Fuck, Keith really couldn’t breath. 

“I know Keith and-”

“No!” Keith shouted. He didn’t know where the volume came from. “Don’t you get it!?” 

Alec’s face fell. 

“This shit isn’t new. This- this thing that you do, it’s not new. You’ve done this thing for years. And I put up with it, I shoved it aside because I loved you.” 

Keith watched a tear fall down rough, unshaved cheeks. 

“Keith please. I can’t lose you. We’ve been together for three years-”

“ I know.” Keith said sharply. “Stop telling me things I already know!” Keith took a step away. “This has been going on for three years. And I- I don’t know how much I can handle anymore.”

“Keith, baby come on.” 

Keith sucks in a breath. God why is this so fucking hard? He can’t- he doesn’t want to break up with Alec. But he’s not so sure he can keep going like this. But three years. Three years is a long fucking time. Three years is a long time to be with one person. To only kiss one person. To only share a bed with one person. Keith would like to say he doesn’t know why they haven't moved in together. 

But Keith knows exactly why. 

“I can’t do this right now.” Keith puts his hands up. Not in defeat. Definitely not in defeat. 

“Keith please-” a hand in his arm. 

“Don’t touch me!” Keith growls, smacking his arm away. 

And Alex looks like a kid that's been kicked to the curb. 

The tears fell as soon as he’s out of range. Keith moved so fast, or was he moving slow? He’s wasn’t sure but he didn’t realize he was at his brother’s until Shiro was staring him in the face. 

“Keith.” 

Shiro pulled him inside while Keith just shook his head and sobbed. He hated it. He hated the sound of his own ugly cries. The heat in his cheeks. The pressure in his chest. 

Allura was in the kitchen making tea as Keith cried into his brothers chest. The firmness reminded him of- shit. 

Keith didn’t do this. He didn’t break down in front of people, yet here he was for the second time this week sobbing his guts out onto another person. 

But even if Shiro wanted to say something, he didn’t. Keith didn’t want to talk anyways. This was enough for now. 

God, what a fucking mess. 

 

___________

 

Keith slept at Shiro’s. He told him the gist of what happened, but not about Alec hurting him. He wasn’t telling anyone that. Now that he was thinking about it, Alec wasn’t even the one who hurt him. Keith was the one- No. Stop making excuses for him. 

Keith shook himself off as he hung his suit on the back of his door when he got home. He couldn’t remember the last time he wore that thing. He hoped that his sleep deprivation didn’t show up on his face. Maybe if he just smiled enough- fuck it he couldn’t even do that right now. He sighed and turned on the shower. Did he have to take a date? Couldn’t he just go alone? Pidge would be there. She said she would take Matt. Keith should take someone. He should. He doesn’t want to. But he should. 

No. Fuck that. 

He was going alone and no one could stop him. 

___________

 

Well this is fancy, Keith thought as he walked into the banquet hall the hospital rented for the party. Or was it a gala? A dinner? Keith wasn’t sure, but took a flute of champagne anyways. 

“Loser!” 

Keith hated that he turned. He was used to it now. 

Pidge walked up to him, her black slacks swishing between her legs. The elegance of her olive green blouse surprised Keith. 

“You look nice.” Keith gestured towards her with his champagne. 

“You too. Never seen you in a suit.” 

“Well here I am.” Keith’s expression was less than enthusiastic. 

He gazed around with Pidge, who was still wearing her glasses, at all the people in their fancy clothes. Many were 30+, so that alone made Keith feel out of place. Old men with balding hair clutching whiskey glasses. Elderly woman with that classic electric blue eyeshadow. Men who have written books and articles. Women who have revolutionized the surgical world with new procedures. 

So yeah, Keith felt a bit out of place. 

“We should be mingling.” Pidge peered at all the important people. 

“Yeah, in a bit.” Keith sipped his champagne, only to find it empty. That was fast. 

“Okay, well Lance sure is enjoying himself.”

“Hm I bet- wait what?”

Pidge had her signature Smirk™ plastered on her face. 

Honestly, Keith wasn’t surprised. He knew Pidge was a schemer and often carried out those schemes. Where the fuck was Matt? Wasn’t she supposed to bring him? He hated that he followed Pidge’s gaze. And- and - 

Holy shit. 

Lance was wearing a navy blue suit with a light purple tie. Tiny white dots covered the tie, matching his crisp white shirt. And god he looked good. Keith couldn’t even pretend anymore. The jacket fit his slim waist and the slacks made his legs look endless. 

“6, 7, 8..” Pidge’s voice came into focus. 

“What are you counting?” Keith redirected his focus towards his friend. 

“The amount of seconds you’ve been staring at Lance.”

“Shut up.” Keith looked back down to his glass. Still empty. He should get something stronger. 

“Hey guys! Hey Keith! Hey have you had those stuffed mushroom things? So good.” Lance was beaming as he came over to join them. 

Yeah, he’s definitely gonna need something stronger. 

“You look nice Keith.” 

Ah fuck. 

Lance was looking at him. All of him. 

“Th-thanks. You too.” Keith nodded, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be bumping elbows with the geniuses? Milking them for the cash?” Lance nudged him with an elbow for extra effect. 

“I need another drink first.” Keith gazed back into his flute. Anything to avoid looking at- 

“Lance, why don’t you get Keith a drink.” Pidge looped an arm around Keith, “And I’ll take him to charm the pants off of Richie Rich over there.” 

“On it!” Lance plucked the glass from Keith’s hand and scurried off gracefully. 

Once Lance was gone, Keith glared at Pidge. “What the fuck are you trying to do?”

“Keith watch your language.”

“Pidge I’m serious. I can’t do this. You can’t just wave your tiny hands and magically make my boyfriend disappear and Lance take his place. It doesn’t work like that.” 

“Keith I-”

“Excuse, me Dr. Kogane is it?” 

Keith turned around and saw a short man in a suit that looked a little too tight. “Uh, yes. And you are?” 

“Well a colleague of yours has been speaking very highly of you, so I thought I’d come see what all the fuss was about.” He chuckled deeply. 

Keith peered over the man and spotted Shiro smiling at him, giving a thumbs up. Beside him, Allura looked stunning in her pale blue dress, her hair cascading over her shoulders.

He would scold his brother later. 

“I’ll talk to you later.” Pidge mumbled and hurried off. 

Keith’s attention was turned back towards the man when he placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“So my boy, tell me about your work.” 

Wow, very forward. 

“Uh, well I’m the resident trauma surgeon so I’m in the ER a lot-”

“Yes, yes I know.”

Okay, bitch. Who the hell was this guy?

The man took a sip of his drink. “Have you begun any studies? Research? I know your mentor Dr. Wimbledon has begun exploring methods of in-the-field procedures for better step one care. Are you assisting him with that?”

Keith tried to not stuff his hands in his pockets or fiddle with his tie. “Um, not really. I just finished my intern year so I’m really just focusing on mastering my practice-”

“Hmm yes, yes that is essential.” The man hummed, but already seemed disinterested, as he was looking around the room. 

“But uh, I do hope to eventually-”

“Yes, yes, would you excuses me for a moment my boy?” The man placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Yeah, uh yes of course. Thank you.” Keith wasn’t sure why he thanked the man. He had done nothing but insult Keith. 

The man nodded. “Remember Dr. Koin,” 

Okay, yeah not his name but it’s cool. Whatever. 

“If you want to make it in the surgical world, you’ve got to take leaps, not steps.” He waved a finger at Keith, like a disappointed parent reminding their child to not kick the soccer ball in the house. 

“Yes sir.” Keith smiled and nodded politely. His right fist was clenched. 

“Hey McDreamy I found you! It is really crowded in here let me tell ya-”

“Lance can you just give me a second!” Keith snapped, and when he saw Lance’s hurt expression he realized what he’d done. He sighed. “Sorry, I just-” His looked at the drinks in Lance’s hand. “You got me a drink?”

Lance looked from Keith to the drinks, then back to Keith. “Yeah, I said I would.”

“Yeah, I guess, I just didn’t think-” Keith trailed off. 

You okay man? You look like you’re gonna pass out.” Lance set the drinks on a nearby table, the type you find at wine tasting places. 

Keith nodded, but he really did feel lightheaded. Was it the man that told him what he was doing with his career was useless? Was it his abusive boyfriend? Keith would have to guess both. 

 

“Wanna head outside for a sec?” Lance placed a hand on his shoulder and the touch was like someone had shocked him. 

“Yeah.” 

And Keith is following Lance before he can think it through. The night air was cold, but there’s no wind. The sky was clear and the only lighting outside is the streetlight along the curb. 

They sat on the steps, and Keith watched Lance unbutton his jacket, letting the sides hang open. Keith leaned back and took deep breaths, trying to make them as silent as possible. 

“You alright McDreamy? You’re breathing kind of funny.” Lance’s eyebrows were scrunched together. 

Apparently Keith wasn’t doing a good job of being discreet. 

“M’fine.” Keith nodded his head slightly, but still focused on breathing. Just focus on something Keith just focus, focus, focus-

“Well, maybe your tie is too tight, hold on.” And then Lance’s hands were under his chin fiddling with Keith’s tie. 

Keith froze as Lance’s long fingers brushed his chin as he loosened the tie. He hoped Lance didn’t realize he stopped breathing. 

“There you go. All loosey goosey.” Lance smiled and leaned back on his hand, crossing his right leg over his left thigh. 

Keith was still frozen. And of course Lance noticed. He noticed everything. 

“Hey, you okay? You seem-” Lance waved his hand around in Keith’s direction. 

No, no Keith wasn’t okay. 

“No.” 

Woah, okay I guess we’re saying it out loud now. 

“What’s bothering ya?” Lance said it so casually, like he was asking Keith’s favorite ice cream flavor. 

Keith stared at a long crack in the sidewalk. He wondered what it looked like to ants. Did ants have boyfriend troubles?

“You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.” He heard the fabric Lance’s jacket swish as he shrugged. 

Keith sighed and went with problem number two. “Some asshole basically told me my work is worth shit.” 

“What?” Lance leaned forward and swiveled his head dramatically to look at Keith. “What a dick.” 

Keith snorted. “Yeah, apparently I should be doing groundbreaking research or something.”

“Are you kidding me?” Man, Lance was really getting worked up about this. “You save peoples fucking lives!” 

Woah, okay Lance is standing up now. 

“You studied one thing for like six years and you work so fucking much, because apparently you don’t have hobbies,” 

Keith snickered, shaking his head. 

“And you can figure out how to like, fix people by looking at them for a couple minutes! Like, that old man probably hasn’t healed someone in like 40 years! You save people's lives every day! That’s so fucking badass!” Lance was waving his arms around like a monkey. 

Keith was laughing hard now, clutching his stomach. “Okay, okay I get it.” 

Lance stopped and smiled at Keith. “Hey you’re smiling. And laughing!” He plopped back down on the curb beside Keith. Lance let out a sigh, out of breath from his ranting. “That’s good McDreamy. You’re like a modern day hero.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Huh?” Lance turned his head, eyebrows raised slightly. 

“Thank you. For- whatever that was.” Keith gestures to Lance’s previous performance area. 

“Sure thing bud.” Lance smiles at him again. 

And- and Keith’s heart is beating so fast. This isn’t okay. He shouldn’t be having these feelings. He has a boyfriend. Does he? That thing with Alec last night wasn’t a break up, was it? Keith didn’t exactly say the words. But Keith wasn’t exactly into it. Maybe he had been at one point. But now? Shiro told him last night that he needed to just rip off the bandaid. But this situation is more like a full body cast. 

“Keith? You still there?”

“Kinda.” Keith muttered. 

“Seems like something’s still on your mind.” 

Boy, was he right. 

“Youuuu wanna talk about it?” 

Keith stared at the crack in the ground again. He does want to talk about it. He really does. He wants to scream it out as loud as he can because he is so tired and so done. 

He’s so done. 

“I just- I-” Keith felt his throat get tight. Fuck not this shit already. 

“You don’t have to.” Lance says softly. 

No, fuck don’t say that. 

“I’m just really fucking tired Lance.” 

“Like sleepy?” 

“No.” 

“Gotcha.” 

“And I want to break up with my boyfriend but I’m really scared.” 

Pause. 

“Gotcha.” 

Okay. That wasn’t so bad. But Lance wasn’t saying anything. Lance was a talker. That’s what he did. So why wasn’t he talking?

“That’s all you have to say?” Keith turned towards Lance. 

“What?” Lance was taken aback. 

“You’re supposed to be giving me cheesy advice and say it’s all gonna be okay! I don’t do this shit a lot Lance, and all I get is a ‘gotcha’?” 

Lance just stared at him. But it wasn’t with offense. It was much softer. 

“Keith, I just figured you needed someone to listen to you. I mean, I talk all the time, so I thought I’d just listen this time.” Lance said carefully. 

Keith stared at him. Just listen? Okay. 

“So, you’ll just listen? And not say anything” 

“Yep. Pour it out for me McDreamy.” Lance nodded. 

Pour it out. Come on Keith. Just take a second to be uncomfortable and then you can go home and cry some more.

Just pour it out. 

“I’m so tired Lance. Alec is- he’s great. But he’s not-” Keith took a breath. No tears, no tears. “And three years is a really long fucking time. Like that’s a lot of memories and shit. And it’s been a really long time since I’ve been single and I am really afraid of that. And Pidge keeps fucking pressuring me to break up with him, and Shiro too and they both just need to back off sometimes because it’s my fucking life! It’s my life and I can tell what I can handle and what I can’t. But I’m starting to realize they might be right and I don’t want to admit it to them.” 

Take a breath Keith. Oh god, here come the tears. 

“And I don’t know what to do! I mean I know that Alec isn’t good to me, I mean he’s good sometimes but I’ve known that. Fuck, I have a huge fucking bruise on my shoulder! Because of him! That’s a really big warning sign right?” 

He could taste salt and his suit felt too stiff. 

“And tonight, that man. Just fucking telling me that my work doesn’t matter and Pidge bringing you to this stupid event and butting into my love life and my relationships was just the icing on the fucking cake!” 

Keith wiped his tears from his cheeks with his suit jacket. Fuck this jacket. He stripped it off and threw it into the road with a yell. 

Silence. Sniffs from Keith. Breath from Lance. 

“So yeah, that’s it.” Keith sniffed, wiping his nose, this time with his shirt sleeve. 

He looked at Lance, who nodded twice. 

Keith kept looking at him, then remembered that Lance was supposed to be just listening. 

Lance let out a big sigh. His chest rising and falling dramatically. “Well, I have an idea.” 

Lance sounded pretty okay considering that Keith realized he had just told him that it would be crazy if he and Lance dated. That’s gotta be a low blow to the self esteem. He didn't even make a comment on it. 

“And what is that?” Keith decided to play along because he was tired of crying. 

Lance grinned. “I’m gonna go inside and I’m gonna snag some booze, and then we’re gonna go to the park down the road and play on the playground.” 

Keith stared at him for what seemed like the hundredth time tonight. 

“You serious?” 

“Fuck yeah, I’ll be right back.” Lance hopped to his feet and jogged towards the front door. 

What the heck just happened?

*

Keith leaned back in the swing, one hand on the rusty chains and one holding the short whiskey bottle.

“Hey pass it over bud.” Lance made grabby hands towards Keith. 

They half walked half jogged to the park a block away and Lance sprinted straight for the slide. He had to tuck his legs up to his ears because they were almost almost as long as the slide itself. Lance then pulled Keith to the swings, as eager as a child. 

Keith laughed and stretched out to hand him the bottle, almost falling out of the swing in the process. 

“Don’t fall there McDreamy.” Lance chuckled, taking a swig from the bottle. In a very sloppy move, Lance pulled himself out of the swing and sauntered to Keiths side. He shoved the bottle into the bark chips. 

“I am very drunk right now.” Lance laughed. His cheeks were flushed, from the alcohol and the cold air. 

“Hmm me too.” Keith smirked. Lance walked up in front of him and placed both hands on the chains, only a few inches from Keith’s. “Pretty sure that’s your fault though.”

“My fault?” 

Keith laughed again. “This whole thing was your idea! And you are the one who snagged the whiskey.”

“But it was a good idea, you admit that right?” Lance grinned and wiggled the swing. 

“You gonna give me a push or are you just gonna stand there.” Keith said. He felt warm. He had grabbed his suit jacket from the road and was currently somewhere on the playground. Keith couldn’t really remember where though. 

“Shut up McDreamy.” Lance rolled his eyes, but leaned back, both hands gripped on the chains. Then he leaned forward and woah that was getting really close. 

Lean back. 

Lean forward. 

Keith’s knees hit Lance’s thighs. 

Lean back. 

Lean forward. 

Even closer. Have Lance’s eyes always been this bright? Like, they look really, really blue. 

Lean back. 

Knees touch.

Lance’s pinkies have now slid down to touch Keith’s index fingers. 

Lean forward. 

And Lance has stopped moving. 

His face was so close Keith could actually feel his breath on his face. 

“Watcha doin’ there?” Keith slurred. 

Lance didn’t have a smirk on his face. It just looked blank. It was unnerving. “Hmm, nothin’”

“You sure ‘bout that?” Keith didn’t think he could talk any quieter. 

And then Lance was leaning forward and Keith’s mind was moving so slow but it felt like everything was moving in fast motion. Then the warmth hit him and woah they were kissing. Lance’s lips were thin, but they moved like the tide, pulling and pushing smoothly. One of his hands moved from the swing chain to Keith’s jaw and oh that was cold, but Keith didn’t care because Lance was really warm and now he was licking into his mouth. God that felt good and new and different. And Keith hated that he kissed back. He hated that he placed a hand on Lance’s waist to maybe, just maybe, pull him closer. 

Then like a bullet out of a barrel, Lance pulled back sharply with fear in his eyes. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god oh my god oh my god.” Lance rambled. 

Keith was still moving slowly as Lance moved even farther away from him. 

“Keith I am so sorry oh my god oh my god!” Lance was running his hands through his hair and pacing. “I should go, we should go.” 

Keith couldn’t speak. His lips were now the only warm part if his body. What just happened? 

Did that actually just happen? 

Keith was dizzy as he stood up. Lance was walking around, muttering to himself. 

“Lance-” But what was Keith supposed to say? ‘Thanks for that mind-blowing kiss but I’ve got an abusive boyfriend so, sorry!’ 

Yeah that would go great. 

“No, Keith just-let’s just go okay.” Lance shook his head, stumbling slightly. He reached down to grab the almost empty whiskey bottle and started off towards the banquet hall. 

Leaving Keith alone in the middle of the park feeling lost and lost and lost. 

.

.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Kiss wasn't supposed to be until another chapter, but I may reduce this fic to 7 chapters. If I kept it at 8 then the next chapter would be really short and slow. What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments!
> 
> Thanks for reading my luvs! **Smooches **  
> <3 Jay


	5. C5 How To Respect Your Significant Others Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this whole chapter is just ANGST 
> 
> sorry not sorry...

Chapter 5 

 

Keith woke up with a headache and a bad taste in his mouth. He must have thrown up last night. Part of him had wished he had drank more than he actually had, so that maybe he wouldn’t remember. Or maybe he could use it as an excuse for his actions. He wished Lance drank more, so he too could use it as an excuse. 

But he didn’t. He didn’t drink too much. He drank just enough to remember it like a warm, fuzzy dream. He rolled out of bed and felt sick to his stomach. But he knew it wasn’t because of his hangover. 

He messed up. 

He messed up big time. 

He let the lukewarm water during his shower pound into his face. Maybe if he stood there long enough, the water would make him erode away and flow down the drain. 

Sadly Keith was still in one piece when he emerged from the bathroom. With a towel wrapped around his waist he walked into the kitchen to grab his phone where it was plugged in to the white charger. 

 

>>From Podgehog (8:23 pm)<<

Podgehog - where are uuuuu 

Podgehog - i can’t find Lance either 

Podgehog - Keith??

Podgehog - ??

 

>> From Podgehog (10:47 am) <<

Podgehog - u gonna tell me what the hell happened last night ??

Podgehog - Lance isn’t texting back either and im really worried 

Podgehog - Keith please 

 

>> From Shiro (10: 58 am)<<

Shiro - why is Pidge freaking out 

Shiro - why did you leave last night? 

Shiro - Keith I’m really worried about you now. Please text back or call. 

 

Keith wished he had a landline so he could slam the phone down. He huffed and ran a hand though his wet hair. Why did he have to fuck up so bad? Why did fucking Lance have to- have to do that? All this shit that just exploded in the past couple weeks is too fucking much, too much, too much, too much-

CRACK! 

Keith’s fist connected with the wall, pushing straight through the drywall. He pulled his hand away and bits of plaster and paint fell to the ground. His hand was covered in white dust and blood. 

Fuck that kinda hurt. 

Keith was running his hand under warm water, watching the blood drain into the sink when the door knocked. 

Keith turned the water off and went to answer the door, forgetting he was in just a towel. Forgetting his hand was still bleeding because he just punched a fucking wall. 

He swung open the door and for a moment all he saw was his boyfriend coming over to spend the night. The grey college sweatshirt that he wore all the time. Keith would have to force him to wash it all the time. Fitted track pants. The shoes Keith got him. 

Then he remembered everything and the walls went up. 

“What are you doing here?” Keith crossed his arms over his chest. 

He watched as Alec scanned him over. “I- just want to talk. You kind of walked away from me the other day.” Scan again. “What happened to your hand, you’re bleeding.” 

“Yeah well I don’t want to talk and my hand is fine.” Keith began to close the door, but Alec’s palm pressed it back.

“Keith, please.” 

And how could Keith say no to a face like that? 

“Come in. I’m gonna put some clothes on.” 

“You should wrap up your hand too.” 

Keith scowled and went to the bathroom to wrap his hand up. As he slipped on his pants, towel hung over his head, he wondered what the hell he was doing. Alec was in his apartment. Keith stared at the fading bruise on his shoulder. He was gonna do it. 

He could do this. 

He could do this. 

 

When he walked out of his room, Alec was sitting on the couch, looking uncomfortable. It was a weird sight. He usually had his legs draped across the arm, head on the cushions, or Keith's lap. They had fucked on that couch more times that Keith could count. So yeah, it was weird. 

“Hey.” Alec perked up when Keith appeared. 

“Hey.” Stone cold reply. 

“Your hand okay?”

“It’s fine.” 

Alec nodded. “Keith I’m so sorry. And I’m not just saying that. I feel like shit. And you have no right to forgive me.” 

“I’m not going to.” Keith kept his face still. Show no emotion. Nothing. 

“And you don’t have to.” Alec rubbed his hands on his thighs. 

He did that before his big job interview for the fire station he was at now. He did it before Keith’s intern test. When they waited for the test results. 

“I did some looking, and I found a couples counselor.”

What? 

“And I was thinking we could go see her like a couple times a week and we could work out some of this stuff out-”

“A couples counselor?” Keith stared at him. It seemed so unlike Alec to go and do this. Then Keith remembered the past three years, and all the good things. And for a moment it didn’t seem so unlike him. Just for a moment though. 

“Alec, I’ve got work, you have work. I can’t just take time off work to go see a couples counselor.” 

“Don’t you think that fixing this- that fixing us, is the most important thing right now? I mean, if we want to make this work than-”

Keith let out a sigh. “Alec, I’m trying to- ugh!” 

Keith was trying to go through the motions of breaking up with his boyfriend and he was being so- so perfect! 

“Well I’m trying to fix our relationship Keith! But I can’t get anywhere if you just stand there and scowl at me.” 

“I’m not scowling.” Keith tried to relax his face. “I’m trying to say that I don’t think that this- that we- can actually fix this.” 

‘Keith I said I’m sorry-”

“I know!” Keith didn’t want to raise his voice. “But I’m saying that I don’t think I can forgive you Alec. You- you hurt me. You’ve been hurting me for months and I can’t take it anymore!” 

“Keith I know I went to far last week but-”

“It’s not just about last week! This is something you’ve always done.” Keith’s voiced cracked and his face became red. He didn’t stop. “You don’t know what you’ve done to me! You don’t know about the little things I’ve sacrificed for you! You don’t know when to stop! Last week, last week I was tired and I told you I was tired and you still kept going. Don’t you understand that?” 

Alec just stared at him. He stared and Keith stared back. A silent conversation was happening. Like a pack leader establishing his dominance, it was a battle for alpha. A battle where whoever looked away first, lost. 

All Keith saw in Alec’s eyes was the immense look of desperation. Desperation for Keith to stay. For Keith’s expression to soften and for him to move forward and kiss him tenderly. 

But Keith didn’t move. 

And Alec lost, his eyes falling to the ground. 

“Keith are- what are you trying to say?”

Keith swallowed hard. “Alec, I can’t do this- us anymore. We’re done.” And Keith wanted to so badly to storm out in a movie-like fashion. 

“Keith.” 

Halves. Quarters. Eights. Sixteenths. Swirling down the drain. 

Tears dribbled from Alec’s eyes, navigating their way through the scruff on his jaw. He stood up and took a step towards Keith. 

Keith was crying too. He wasn’t supposed to cry. 

“I’m sorry.” Keith shook his head. Because he was. He was ending a relationship that lasted for three years. He was tearing down memories and replacing them with a grey haze. 

“I’m sorry too.” 

And- Alec wasn’t fighting it. He wasn’t making a desperate attempt anymore. He just brushed his thumb across Keith’s cheekbone, wiping a tear in the process. 

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you need me to be.” Alec whispered. His hand still rested on his Keith’s cheek. 

And Keith hated that he was being so sweet. It was making this a million times a harder. 

Keith just shook his head again. 

“One more?” Alec still whispered. 

Keith shut his eyes and nodded ever so slightly. Because he loved this man. He did. 

So Alec pressed his lips to Keith’s and it was so normal, but felt different. It was like a first kiss, but sadder. More distant. Keith could taste his tears. 

“I love you.” Alec mumbled against his lips. “But I understand.” 

Keith let more tears flow down his face. Alec wiped those away too. 

“I’m sorry.” Keith muttered, moving away. 

“Me too.” 

God, he looked so lost. 

Maybe they could fix this- no. Stop that. 

Stop. 

But look at him. Look how torn up his boyfriend is- 

No. 

Ex. 

Ex boyfriend. 

“I’m gonna go now.” Alec said. 

Keith nodded. 

Alec leaned in and kissed his cheek. That familiar scratchy feeling on his cheek. Strong hand on his shoulder. So gentle. 

And then he was gone. 

And Keith collapsed. 

*

 

Keith cried for two hours. It was the middle of the day, which felt like a weird time to cry. Crying was for the night time. 

Apparently it was possible at midday too. 

By the time Keith ran out of tears and his pillow was soaked, he felt more empty than he had ever felt. He would ask himself why over and over again. What did he just do? Why did he just do that? Then common sense would chime in and tell him the real reason and for a moment Keith would feel relief. Then reality would wash over him and he was back to feeling that deep ache in his chest. So he cradled his pillow and sobbed loudly, softly, and everything in between. He still hadn’t replied to Shiro or Pidge’s texts. He could feel his heartbeat in his injured hand. In his head. In his toes. The ache was so prominent that everything in the room faded away. The only thing was left was his tired body, and his tear stained pillow. 

 

_____________ 

 

After a while, he had crawled out of his room to grab his phone. He knew his brother was probably freaking out. Pidge might have been considering coming over and knocking his door down. Keith only guessed that because one of her 14 texts said ‘Keith if u don’t reply soon imma come knock your door down !!’ 

So Keith replied to the both of them, saying he was fine and was just tired. Which was kind of true. Kind of. 

Keith didn’t eat and slept all afternoon. Stayed up late watching Ghost Adventures. Went to bed at one and woke up at one the next afternoon. He did the same thing the next day. More texts from his brother and Pidge. 

Nothing from Alec. 

Nothing from Lance. 

The next day he knew he had to go to work. Work. He had a job. Obligations. He couldn't wallow forever. 

So he pulled himself out of bed and grimaced at his reflection in the mirror. The dark circles under his eyes made him look dead. He felt like it. 

By the time he got to work he knew today was gonna suck. He hadn’t told anyone yet. He didn’t want to tell Pidge at work, but that’s probably what was gonna happen. He wasn’t sure if Shiro was working today. He didn’t run into him often at the hospital. 

“Loser!” 

Keith turned. His white coat felt stuffer than usual today. 

Her face was fiery as she marched up to him and pressed a finger into his sternum. “You. Have some explaining to do.” 

Keith huffed and pushed her hand away. 

But she wasn’t finished. “Where the hell did you and Lance go? And what did you say to him because he’s not talking to me, and I don’t think he’s talking to Hunk either and they’re roommates and that’s really weird because Lance talks all the time and Shiro said you weren't talking to him either and when you disappear and don’t answer your texts that leaves us really fucking worried Keith so you gotta tell me-”

“I broke up with Alec.” 

That shut her up. 

Keith saw a sequence of emotions run through his friends face. Shock. Relief. Worry. 

“Damn. You okay?” 

“No.” 

She nodded slowly. 

“You need anything?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” 

Silence. 

“You need a hug?” She whispered. The hallway was beginning to get busy. 

“Later.” Keith ignored the sting in his throat and that ache in his chest that had taken residency there for the past few days. 

Another pause. 

“Did Lance do something? Did you?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“Keith-”

“Pidge.” He shot her a stern look. A scolding look. 

She cowered slightly. “Okay.” 

The rest of the day was fine. Keith made it. That’s all that mattered. As he walked out to his bike, his pocket buzzed. 

>> From Shiro (6:08 pm) <<

Shiro - don’t leave yet 

Shiro - Can you come up to my office? 

He was getting deja vu from high school. Keith Kogane to the principal's office. 

Keith shoved his helmet under his arm and reluctantly walked back towards the hospital. He climbed the stairs to Shiro’s office instead of the elevator, just to slow down his journey. He peered into the plain office, and saw Shiro sitting behind his desk on his computer. 

“You summoned me?” Keith deadpanned. 

“Hey, yeah come in.” His brother gave him a weak smile. 

Keith sat on the edge of the desk and braced his palms against it. 

“So do I have to ask or are you just gonna tell me why you’re ignoring everyone?” 

Shiro didn’t sound mad. He just sounded weary. 

His brother had been nothing but good to him his entire life. And Keith had been nothing but a pain in the ass. 

“I’m sorry, I just- needed some time.” Keith said gently. 

“Time for what?”

“I broke up with Alec.”

He could hear the small ‘oh’ escape from Shiro’s lips. “Keith, I’m sorry-”

“I don’t want that sympathy shit. It was my decision anyways.”

Shiro closed his laptop. “I know, but that doesn't mean it still doesn’t hurt.” 

Fuck. Right in the heart. 

“Lance texted me you know.” Shiro added carefully. 

“So?” Keith said with more bite than he meant. 

“He said you hadn’t replied to him. He was just worried about you. You should at least talk-”

“Why is everyone so hung up on Lance?! What about me huh? What about me?” 

Shiro froze. “Keith that’s not what I’m trying to say-”

“No, that is exactly what you're trying to say! You want me to get together with Lance and so does Pidge. You guys are trying to place matchmaker and I’m tired of it!” 

Shiro stayed frozen. 

“If I’m gonna be with someone, it’s gonna be on my own terms, my own decision.” 

And Keith stormed out, slamming the door in the process. 

Who gave a fuck about Lance anyways?

*

 

Keith did, that’s who. He gave a fuck about Lance and he was terrified by it. 

 

___________________________

 

A few more days past and Keith decided to collect the things Alec had left at his place and shove them in a box. An extra phone charger. A few shirts. A pair of flannel pajama pants. A razor. His toothbrush. And Keith didn’t really shove them into a box. More like set them in the box nicely. 

He didn’t really want to go over there yet, so he asked Shiro to drop it off for him. 

“Are you ever gonna tell me what caused this all to happen?” Shiro had asked him when Keith handed him the box of stuff with him in Shiro’s office before work. 

“Just make sure he gets his stuff.” Keith ignored his question and went down to the ER for work. 

When he got home that evening he stripped his shoes off and tossed them in the general area of his shoe basket. He lived alone and he had a shoe basket. He was pretty sure it must have been Shiro’s idea. His apartment was a mess. Dishes piled up, clothes in the corner, books stacked on his coffee table. How hard is it to walk five feet and put a book in a bookcase? 

Apparently very hard. 

He threw his scrubs in his hamper and crawled into bed in his briefs. He stared at his textured ceiling. He and Alec used to lay here and find pictures in the ceiling. Animals, objects, faces. 

So Keith stared at his ceiling. And stared. And stared. And before Keith knew it, he had been staring at his ceiling for three hours. 

Fuck it. 

Keith threw off the covers and pulled on his Halloween pajama pants. He plugged his phone into his speaker and turned it up as loud as he dared at 11:30 at night. And he cleaned. 

And he organized. 

And swept. 

And wiped down the counters. 

Cleaned the shower and toilet. 

He even moved around the furniture in his living room. 

When he felt he had cleaned everything he could, he collapsed on his couch in its new position facing the window. It was well into the earliest hours of the morning, and he knew the sun would rise in a couple of hours. He didn’t really care.

He fell asleep for a while, but was woken up by a text. 

From Shiro of course. Who else would be up at 5:30 in the morning? 

>> From Shiro (5:37 am) <<

Shiro - just letting you know I dropped off that box of stuff last night. 

Shiro - He asked how you were doing

 

Keith let out a breath. Of course he asked how Keith was doing. 

 

Keith - Thanks 

 

Keith chucked his phone onto the couch and went to get dressed. He felt like a wreck, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. He didn't work today, so he figured he’d go to the gym. He wished there was something wrong with his bike so he could work on it. 

So he put on black joggers and a dark grey tank top, and rode his bike to the gym. He rarely went anymore, but right now he felt like he really needed to punch something other than his own wall. 

He still hadn’t fixed the hole. That was the one thing he neglected last night during his cleaning frenzy. 

When he got to the gym he headed straight for the punching bags. When he was in high school, one of his foster parents had gotten tired of Keith punching the walls and got him a punching bag hanging in their garage. Keith went out there almost every day. Let’s just say he got really fit during his junior and senior year. 

So he punched and kicked the shit out of the bright red bag. Every combination he knew. Over and over and over until he could feel sweat dripping down the side of his face. Over and over and-

“Keith?” 

Keith whipped around and almost punched Lance in the face. 

“Woah there McDreamy.” Lance chuckled, holding his hands up in defense. 

Keith took him in for a moment. Dark purple leggings. Loose white tank top. A light sheen of sweat across his face. 

“Sorry.” Keith huffed, trying to catch his breath. Stop staring at him dammit. 

“What did the bag ever do to you huh?” Lance joked. 

The jokes. He was trying to diffuse how completely awkward this was. 

Keith gave a half-hearted laugh. Very half-hearted. 

“You uh come here often?” Keith glanced over Lance another time. He hoped he didn't notice. He probably did. 

“Uh, well sometimes I get tired of the studios at the school, so I come here to work.”

“Work?” 

“Choreograph? For my students?” 

Keith shook his head. “Yeah, right sorry.”

“S’fine.” Lance smiled. 

Why was he acting so- so normal?

“How’ve you been?” Lance asked casually, but there was a hint of something else. 

“Fine.” 

Cause he was. He was… fine. 

“The intensity of which you’re punching that bag says otherwise.” Lance nodded his head towards the bag. 

Keith shook his head. “I’m fine Lance.”

“Fine?” 

Keith looked up. He knew how bad he must look. The dark circles. The glaze over his eyes. He had only been eating the stuff he could find in his pantry and fridge. 

“Did- did something happen? Cause, I don’t mean to intrude but you don’t look so good.” Lance said carefully. 

Did he not know? He was sure he would have heard about Alec and him. That Pidge or Shiro would have let it slip. But then again, Keith wasn’t sure Lance had been talking to them either. 

Lance sighed and readjusted the bag over his shoulder. “Listen, what happened that night-”

“I broke up with Alec.” Keith blurted out. Somehow, saying that one sentence left him more out of breath than working out. 

Lance’s mouth formed a small ‘oh’. 

Silence.

“Shit I’m sorry about that Keith.” Lance rubbed his palm with his thumb. 

“S’fine.” 

Cause it was. 

Another pause. 

“Did- Did I do something to-” Lance shook his head. “Like, I don’t want what happened to be my fault-”

Oh god. 

“Geez, no Lance. It wasn’t your fault.” Keith said quietly. 

Lance nodded, still rubbing his palm. 

Keith took a breath. Okay just rip of the band-aid. It seemed to be a common theme surrounding Keith’s decisions lately. 

“Lance. What happened that night,” Keith found it funny that they didn’t have to clarify what That Night meant. “That wasn’t the cause of the breakup. And I was- I kissed you back.” 

Woah. It sounded weird as he said it. It was- weird. 

Lance was still, albeit his thumb on his palm. 

“So yeah.” Keith tacked on at the end, but knew it was stupid as soon as he said it. 

Lance nodded. “Right. Well, uh, good talking to you. I’ll see you around.” 

“Yeah, see you around.” 

And Keith didn’t watch Lance go. He just turned back to the bag and picked up where he left off. 

Punch. 

Shiro and how stupidly perfect he was. 

Punch. 

Pidge and her getting all up in his business. 

Punch. 

Alec. 

Punch. 

Alec. 

Kick. 

Lance.

Punch. 

Alec. 

Punch. 

Lance. 

Kick.

Lance…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually cried while I wrote the breakup scene... 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments and your reactions?? Favorite scene? Wishes for scenes in future chapters?   
> I'm writing this fic in a very freeform fasion so there's lots of room for changes in future chapters. 
> 
> **smooches**  
> <3 Jay 
> 
> [Tumblr: TheoreticalMindGames]


	6. C6 How To Rediscover The "Spark"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is trying to move on. He really is. It's just really fucking hard... 
> 
> _________
> 
> Enjoy this 7.7k chapter full of angst and some smut at the end.... ;)

Chapter 6 

When Keith got home from work a few days later, there was a box sitting outside. Keith didn’t need to read the note to know who it was from, but he did anyways. 

 

In a familiar small slanted script it said:

Thanks for the stuff. Here’s some of your things.  
\- Alec 

 

Keith crumpled up the note and threw it in the trash when he got inside. He opened the box flaps and pulled out his things. Toothbrush. Sweatshirt. Book. Hairbrush. Simple stuff. Then at the bottom laid a white square. Keith picked it up and turned it over and let out a breath. It was a picture. He and Alec had taken a road trip to California two summers ago and the picture was at the dumpy gas station they had stopped at in the middle of nowhere. Keith had wanted to take the picture, which was rare. He had forgotten about the photo. He was surprised that Alec had kept it. Even more surprised that Alec would give it to Keith. 

He felt sick to his stomach. What the hell was Alec trying to do? Was this some twisted attempt to- to- 

No, Keith didn’t want to think about it. His fingers poised at the top of the photo, prepared to tear it in two. 

But he couldn’t.

He couldn’t do it. 

So he put the photo back in the box, along with the other stuff and set it in the corner of his room. 

He spent the next day at home. He called in sick. He knew it was a lame excuse. He didn’t care. He turned up the heat in his apartment cause the weather was starting to be constantly cold and Thanksgiving was in one week. He was invited to Matt and Pidge’s for “Friendsgiving”. Keith didn’t know why you couldn’t just call it Thanksgiving. He still wasn’t sure if he was gonna go. He wondered if Lance was gonna go. He remembered at one point hearing about Lance’s incredibly large family, so he probably had plans. 

Keith might go if Lance wasn’t gonna be there. 

Does that make him a rude person? That he is actively avoiding Lance? 

Maybe. 

Keith didn’t really care at this point. 

For dinner he boiled some water and poured it into the styrofoam cup full of dried noodles. Just because he was a surgeon, didn’t mean he had to eat healthy. Heck, half the nurses at the hospital smoked. At least he had managed to quit that bad habit after high school. 

So he turned up the heat and put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, curling his feet up under his thighs on the couch. He turned on the tv and channel surfed, finally settled on Seinfeld. 

And he felt lonely. 

Keith hated to admit that enjoyed the warmth of another body beside him. And for the past three years it had been Alec’s firm chest and strong hands. But as he pushed that image out of his mind, a new one inched its way in.

Long slender fingers. Long arms. Long legs. Warm, brown skin. 

Keith groaned out loud, dragging his hands down his face. 

Right on cue, Keith’s phone buzzed. 

 

>> From Lance (7:02 pm) <<

Lance <3 - so uh the other day was pretty awkward? 

Lance <3 - and Pidge is kinda kicking me in the ass, so do u wanna meet for lunch sometime? 

 

Woah. 

Keith stared at the message and was sure he was hallucinating. He really hoped Lance didn’t have hopes of getting together with him. As much as Keith was into the idea- no. No, much too soon. Right? It was too soon… Maybe… 

Maybe Keith could just make an excuse. 

Yeah, just make an excuse. 

 

Keith - I've picked up some extra shifts at work these next few weeks, so I'm pretty busy sry 

 

Keith sighed at this completely obvious attempt at avoidance, but pressed send anyways. Lance reply came a couple minutes later. 

 

Lance <3 - ok, np 

 

Yikes. Didn’t even take the time to type out ‘no problem’, which implied that there was indeed a problem. 

Keith fell asleep on the couch that night, phone sitting face down on the coffee table. He knew sleeping on the couch was a bad idea. It led to back and neck pain and just a whole lot of regret. So he woke up the next morning with his body and attitude hurting. And he loved it when this was the first thing Pidge said to him when he got to work: 

“Why the fuck are you ignoring Lance?” 

Keith groaned and slammed his head on the counter. “A good morning would be nice, you know.” 

“Good morning. Why are you ignoring Lance?” 

Keith glared at her. “That's my business.” 

“Yeah and it became mine when you ripped the friend group apart.” 

“What?” 

“Lance never hangs out with us anymore. And when he does he’s in a pissy mood. So I think it’s your fault.” 

Keith scoffed. “My fault? He kissed me!” And Keith smacked his hand over his mouth, while Pidge's hung wide open. 

“Oh my god.” Pidge utters slowly. 

Keith drug a hand down his face. “You didn’t hear that. You did not hear that.”

“Oh Keith my ears work just fine, I promise.” Keith could tell she was suppressing a smirk. 

Keith groaned again. “Pidge, please you weren't supposed to know about that. Uh fuck.” Head back on the table. 

“Well I’m not gonna comment on it, as much as I want to. But you do need to talk to Lance. He may be annoying but he is an essential member of the friend group. Just like you are.”

Keith lifted his head. “Can’t you talk to him or something?”

Pidge shook her head, her hair swishing around. 

Head back on the counter. 

“Well I’m gonna go and do my actual job instead of standing here scolding you.”

“How refreshing.” Keith muttered. 

“I heard that.” Pidge called over her shoulder as she walked down the hallway. 

Thud. Head back on the counter. 

_________

 

>>> From Lance <3 (6:52 pm) <<

Lance <3 - Hey so I’ve got this performance the day after Thanksgiving @ 7 at The Marmora Concert Hall 

Lance <3 - the rest of the gang are going 

Lance <3 - let me know if u can make it 

 

Keith stared at his phone. Lance. Dancing. Like, actually dancing. Keith wasn’t sure he would be able to handle that. He wasn’t sure he wanted to handle that. He hated the fact that he could go from ignoring Lance like the plague to his teenage-like crush in a matter of days. His life was just full of consistency at the moment. Extreme sarcasm intended. 

“What’s got you all hot and bothered.”

Keith scowled at his brother who was currently sitting on his couch eating chinese food from the carton. 

Keith scowls. “I’m not hot and bothered.” 

Shiro stared wide eyed and smirking into his food, definitely not convinced. 

“I'm not!” Keith objected. 

“I didn’t say anything!” 

“You had a look on your face.” Keith narrowed his eyes and joined him on the couch, picking his carton back up, and twiddling the chopsticks between his fingers. 

“A look?”

Keith hummed and nodded shoving food in his mouth so he doesn’t have to talk anymore. 

A pause while they ate. 

“Soooo are you going to the performance on Friday?”

Keith noted that Shiro doesn’t say ‘Lance’s performance’. Just ‘The’ performance. 

“No.” 

“Why not?” Shiro turned to him. 

“I’m just not.” More food in his mouth. 

Shiro let out his signature Sigh™. “Keith, you can’t keep avoiding Lan-”

“I’m not avoiding him can everyone just leave it alone?” Keith exclaimed. 

Shiro closes his mouth slowly, in what seems like defeat, but his face is stern. 

“Keith.”

Oh shit, The Dad Voice. 

“You have friends. And if you don’t do something about it, that statement might become past tense.” 

Ouch. Keith kept his face neutral. Shiro almost never talked to him this way. 

Shiro’s expression softened. “So please, just- just think about coming Friday? Like actually think about it.” 

Keith knew his friends had good intentions. He knew. But sometimes he was just so fucking stubborn and he insists on being so. And the fact that he’s single didn’t help his attitude either. 

“How are you doing Keith?” Shiro asked softly. “And may I add that you apartment looks spotless.” Shiro lifts an eyebrow. 

He knew Keith only cleaned when he was upset. 

“I’m fine.” 

Shiro continued to look at him, a thick dark eyebrow raised in suspicion. 

Keith sighed and gave in. “It- it just sucks. Like, I know I did the right thing, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it.”

Shiro nodded. “And that’s okay. It’s hard to move on. But I don’t think isolating yourself is gonna help that process.” 

Some of what his brother said, when it came to advice, sounded straight from a tv show. 

Keith looked down at his hands. He knew his brother was right. 

“It’s just- I don’t want to be an extra wheel in your friend group. I don’t want to be all moody and bitchy around them.” 

“Your not moody and bitchy Keith.”

“Yes I am. Pidge says it all the time.” Keith looked at Shiro. 

“Pidge just thrives off of giving people crap. I’ll make sure she tones it down a bit.”

“I’m not a child Shiro I can handle shit myself.” 

“I know your not a kid. Your twenty six. So own up to the mistakes you’ve made and work towards fixing them. Or atleast making peace with it.” 

“Lance is kinda pissed at me.”

“He’s not pissed at you Keith.” Shiro rolled his eyes. 

“Yes he is.”

“And why do you think that.”

“Because I kissed him and didn’t say anything about it.” Keith said so quietly. More to himself than Shiro. 

Shiro was silent. 

Seemed to be the common reaction to that statement. 

“When was this?”

“The gala night.” 

“Ah, so that’s where you went.” There wasn’t smirk on Shiro’s face. “You kissed him.”

Keith huffed. “I don’t know, it- he kinda leaned in first but- but I didn’t really try to stop it and I kissed him back and actually he was the one to pull away and then he like, ran off and yeah.” Keith rambled. 

He hated when he rambled. That’s when he said all the shit that went on his head. Shit he didn’t want other people to know. He was supposed to be level headed and cool. Not frantic and anxious. 

Shiro just nodded. 

This is where he and Pidge were different. Shiro was a nodder, Pidge was a solution maker. 

And Shiro continued to not say anything. 

“You have no comments on that? None? No cheesy Dad advice?” God Keith needed to shut his mouth sometimes. 

Shiro shook his head. “Should I?”

“Yes?!” Shut up Keith shut up shut up shut up. “I fucking kissed someone when I was dating Alec! That’s gotta raise some questions right?” 

Shiro just shrugged. 

“So you have nothing to say. Nothing on the fact that I cheated. I cheated on my boyfri- ex boyfriend. I kissed a guy. While I was taken.” Keith wasn’t even sure he was talking for Shiro anymore. 

Shiro shrugged again. 

And Keith kept. Fucking. Talking. 

“Like, you’re not supposed to do that you know? Like yeah I was unhappy and frustrated with Alec and maybe I like Lance but that doesn’t give you a free pass to kiss the guy right?” 

Fuck. 

Keith clamped his jaw shut and stared up at his brother, who had the smallest amount of amusement on his face. 

“I- I wasn’t supposed to uh- to say those things out loud.” Keith stuttered. 

Shiro shrugged again like the little fucker he was. “I’m just glad you have your thoughts sorted out.”

“You tricked me.” Keith scowled. 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“Then you used some form of mind control.” Keith gathered the empty food cartons and went to throw them away. 

“Keith.” 

“Yeah.”

“Talk to Lance.” 

Pause. 

“I’ll think about it.” 

 

_____________

 

Thursday came and Keith was at work. Yes, he decided to not go to Pidge’s Friendsgiving thing. Yes he knew she would be pissed. 

But he heard from Shiro that Lance was going. And he was still thinking. Still considering on whether or not to talk to him. Or more accurately, how to talk to him. 

So he picked up an extra shift on Thanksgiving. The hospital was flooded with family members carrying vases full of flowers and tupperware containers of leftover food for their loved ones. Half of these patients couldn’t even eat solid food so he wasn’t sure what the point of all the food was. 

“Excuse me sir?” A frail voice said behind him. 

A elderly lady in a pale yellow sweater stood behind him, a single tulip in her hand. “Can you tell me where room 316 is?” 

“It’s actually just right there.” Keith pointed across the hall. 

“Oh! Thank you. My husband claims I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached to my shoulders.” She chuckled to herself. 

“Is that your husband?” He nodded to the older man sleeping in the room. There were more tubes and wires than person. 

She nodded. “But he’s sleeping so I guess I’ll wait for a while.” She lowered herself slowly into the chair outside the room. “So you’re a doctor here I’m assuming.” 

Keith didn’t usually make conversation with the patients or anyone else, but the lady seemed lonely. And it was a slow day. “Yeah, I’m a trauma surgeon.” 

She hummed. “Hm that must be stressful.. You look very young, you must have worked very hard.” 

He nodded. “Uh, yeah I’m twenty six.” 

“Hmm very young indeed.” she smiled. “Me, I’m 87. I’ve been on this earth a long time.” she chuckled again, her thin fingers caressed the petals of the tulip.

“Is that for your husband?” Keith nodded towards the flower. 

“Yes. It’s his favorite. He plants bulbs all around our house for the spring. He’s been in and out of the hospital this year though, so this one is from the supermarket.” 

Keith nodded. “You two been together long?”

“Married at 17. We celebrated our 70th anniversary a few months ago.” She smiled. 

Keith couldn’t imagine being with one person for seventy years. Seventy years was a lifetime. Just three years had seemed like forever. 

“Congratulations. “ Keith smiled gently, but his mind was drifting off again. 

She hummed again, like she was agreeing with the voice inside her head. Keith wouldn’t have been surprised. 

“Thank you, that’s very kind. You know, when we were young, and before we were together, My husband asked me to every high school dance.” She smiled, staring the floor like the memory was ingrained into the linoleum. “For three years, that's six dances in all, I said no. I thought I was being so coy.” She chuckled. 

“During our last year of highschool, before the first dance of the year, I was expecting him to ask me. It became the day of the dance and I came up to him at school and asked him ‘why haven't you asked me to the dance yet?’. At the time I wasn’t sure why I was asking, as I had said no all the previous times. And he simply replied ‘Well I’ve asked you six times before, so I saved myself the trouble of asking you this time since I already knew the answer’. And I thought that was a reasonable thing, but over time I realized that I should have said yes the first time, or even the second time. Someone might be chasing you and you ignore them, but if someone is going after you with that much determination and respect, you know that they’ve got a lot of love for you.” 

She smiled at the tulip still resting in her lap. “But when they hand the reins over to you, you’ve gotta do something about it. Don’t let them get away.” She picked up the tulip. “So the next day I went to his house and gave him a tulip and told him to ask me to the dance.” She laughed, and it sounded like youth, despite her old age. 

Keith just looked at her, because that story sounded- it sounded familiar. Or maybe it was just situational. Anyone could relate to a story in some way, right?” 

 

… but when they hand the reins over to you, you’ve gotta do something about it… 

 

The woman’s husband woke up, and she thanked Keith for keeping her company. Keith went about his day, briefing a few patients and working in the ER for a while with Coran. And he couldn't get the woman’s story out of his mind. 

So when he walked out to his bike to go home he sent out a text.

>> To Lance <3 (6:23 pm) <<

Keith - what am I supposed to wear to your performance ?

 

The response was almost immediate. 

 

Lance <3 - nothing too fancy just like nice clothes? No motorcycle jacket lol 

 

Keith smirked and pocketed his phone. Maybe things could be okay… 

 

_______________

 

The next evening Keith slipped on some black jeans and a maroon button up. He rolled the sleeves up neatly to his elbows and tied his hair back. He stared at himself in the mirror, which was something he didn’t do often. This would be the first time he was actually going out. Like with people. And doing something social. So he stared at himself for a couple minutes, giving himself a silent pep-talk. 

Come on Keith, you can do this. 

But… did he go in there like everything was fine?

Did he apologize right away? 

Was he even gonna see Lance afterwards? 

Keith shoved the questions out of his head, grabbed his black bomber jacket and put his motorcycle over top of it. He wasn’t going to wear it inside, but the action of putting it on despite Lance’s instructions made him smirk. 

 

*

Keith parked his bike against a curb and walked towards the hall. He wasn’t alone, as there were many other people chatting away as they walked to the entrance. He didn’t tell anyone else he was coming, but he assumed Lance had told them because he had a text waiting for him when he parked. 

>> From Shiro (6:42 pm) <<

Shiro - meet us in the lobby by the water fountain 

Keith walked inside, bought his ticket, and wow it was warm in here. He stripped his black jacket and held it over his arm like a waiter. He should have stashed it in his seat compartment. Maybe he can go back and-

“Loser!” 

Keith turned and saw his friends standing in a group beside a metal water fountain. Pidge was waving her short arm at him, signaling him to come over. 

Okay, Keith. Just apologize and everything will be okay. 

“Hey Keith!” Hunk greeted him warmly. Shiro smiled at him, as well as Allura who had her hand intertwined with his. Matt gave a little wave and a cheeky smile. Pidge glared at him. 

Keith sighed wearily. “Pidge I’m sorry I-”

Keith didn’t get to finish because she was wrapping him up in a hug, pulling him down to her level. “I'm sorry too.” She muttered into his hair. 

Keith hugged her back. “I’m surprised you didn’t yell at me.” 

“Shiro gave me a talk.” 

Keith pulled away and laughed. A real laugh. Man, that felt good. 

“We’re glad you could make it Keith.” Allura said kindly. 

Keith smiled at them. His friends. The people who cared about him and the people he cared about. 

“Thanks guys.” He said. “Glad I’m here.” And he meant it. 

 

They chatted with each other and Keith surveyed the room. There were alot of people. The entire lobby was packed with families and couples. There were posters on the wall that featured the silhouetted figure of a dancer in blue doing a leaping pose. Bold white words around it stated:

 

~The Seattle Dance Company presents “Tilted” a modern ballet dance exposition ~

 

Keith stepped closer to one of the posters to read the smaller print.

 

~choreographed by company leader Liliana Santos, along with Richard Falls, Lance McClain, & Allyson Doppler~

 

Holy shit, Lance choreographed this? This was a big deal. The lights above them flickered on and off for a few seconds, and everyone began filing into the auditorium. The stage was mostly dark and lit by low blue hues. Keith laughed when he realized all the blues must have been Lance’s part. The boy loved his blue. 

They found seats, taking up almost a whole row. The rest of the group whispered to each other quietly, and Keith flipped through his program. There was a list of company members, and Keith felt a little roll in his chest when he spotted Lance’s name. It felt like knowing someone famous. 

The audience’s chatters dulled and then became silent when the orchestra began to tune. The stage turned completely black. 

Then silence. 

A cough from someone in the back. 

A sniff behind him. 

Then the lights faded on turning to a deep purple as they did. The silhouette of a single dancer, a woman, held a pose in the center of the stage, her arms twisted in front of her chest, legs crossed, toes pointed.

The music started slowly and the dancer moved with it, arms swinging around her face feet moving herself downstage like a lioness on the prowl. 

Keith was intrigued by the fluidity of her movements. How she moved in time with the music exactly. Her face was highlighted with shimmery makeup, accenting her cheekbones. Her costume matched the the lights and the blue sheer fabric showed her black leotard and tights. 

Halfway through the number, another figure appeared from the wings, moving across the stage on their toes. 

Keith watched, the figures face towards the ground. Then in time with the music their head lifted and shit that was Lance. 

And Keith couldn’t look away. His cheekbones were also adorned with shine. His skin tight outfit showed the definition of his legs and torso. The sheer fabric flew between his legs and arms like wings. Keith swore that Lance could fly away by just the jumps he was making. He held the girl in his arms like a ragdoll, but so gently, twirling her up over his head. 

Lance had once said that Keith was captivating. 

But oh was he wrong. 

Keith had never been more captivated in his life. 

*

After the show, the friend group talked excitedly about the dances. The costumes. Lance. The lights. Lance. The numbers. Lance. 

Mostly about Lance. They all felt like proud parents. 

“Will we get to see him?” Matt asked as they filtered out into the lobby. 

“Yeah, It usually takes like 20 minutes until he comes out.” Hunk chimed. “We should wait outside, it’s really warm in here.” 

Hunk was right, Keith was starting to wish he had worn a t-shirt. 

The group shuffled outside, where many other families had the same idea. The all stood in a lopsided circle and chatted. Keith pulled his bomber jacket back on, and re-tied his hair. 

“How are you doing Keith?” Allura had asked him quietly off to the side, as the rest of the group talked. 

“I’m okay.” He replied with a weak smile. Because he was. He was doing okay.

She smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder lightly. “Let me know if you need anything. I know sometimes you may not want to talk to your brother about everything.” She offered. 

Keith thanked her and then silently thanked Shiro for choosing to marry this woman. 

“Did you see when he lifted her up over his head!” Pidge exclaimed, showcasing to the group by lifting her hands above her head. “He could probably lift me over his head too! We should try it!” 

“Oh yeah Lance is like really strong.” Hunk nodded. “He’s given me piggy back rides several times.” 

Hunk’s comment made Keith swallow hard. 

“Sometimes I like to guess on who would win a fight between all of us.” Matt chuckled to himself. “And now I think Lance would definitely kick my ass.” 

“I’m kicking who’s ass?” 

They all turned and saw Lance standing behind them, now wearing sweatpants and a cropped sweatshirt. His black leotard clung to his skin underneath. 

“Lance!” 

Everyone all spoke at once, praising Lance on his performance and gushing about his skills. 

“Lance I’m pretty sure I cried at one point.” Hunk said firmly. 

“Awe Hunk!” Lance grinned and gave his friend and tight hug. He turned the group. “Thank you everyone for coming. It really means a lot.” 

And Keith didn’t know if he was overthinking things, but it seemed like Lance’s eyes lingered on Keith for just a second longer than the rest. 

“Now who’s ass am I kicking?” Lance laughed, and Matt raised his hand proudly. 

“You are really strong man.” Matt stated. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Those girls weigh nothing, don’t give me too much credit.” 

“What are you talking about?” Hunk held his hands out and squeezed Lance’s bicep. “Feel these things.” 

Lance laughed and tugged his arm away. “Alright, alright. But if anyone was gonna kick anyone’s ass it would definitely be Keith.” 

What?

“Huh?” Keith said stupidly, his eyebrows meeting in confusion and surprise. 

“You told me once that you did jiu-jitsu in high school.” Lance looked at him. 

“Yeah Keith was a fighter not a lover in high school.” Shiro laughed. 

Keith rolled his eyes, but was still… feeling weird. And Lance kept looking at him. Small glances and sometimes full on stares. 

“You guys want to come back to my and Hunk’s place and hang out?” Lancc offered, adjusting the bag over his shoulder. 

“Yeah, sounds good.” Matt smiled. “Katie and I can run by the store and grab drinks and snacks.” 

“Cool. Does everyone have our address?” Lance asked around the group. Everyone nodded and muttered a yes. 

Then Keith piped up. “Uh, I don’t?” 

“Oh!” Lance exclaimed and walked through the group across to Keith. “Here give me your phone.” He held his hand out. He turned to the rest of the group. “I’ll meet you guys there, Hunk can let you in.”

Everyone said last goodbyes and dispersed to their cars. Keith handed Lance his phone. 

“Oh, your password.” Lance said, handing the phone back to Keith. 

Keith shook his head. “It’s just 0000.” 

Lance snorted and typed the password. “Wow, very protective Keith.” 

Keith huffed. “And what is yours, your birthday?”

Pause. “... No…” Lance said slowly, and opened the maps app and typed in his address. “I just live by the Safeway on Evans.” He added as he handed the phone back to Keith. 

“Cool, thanks.” Keith held his phone. And- and Lance wasn’t really moving. 

“Listen man, uh-”

“It’s fine Lance.” Keith said. “I'll meet you there, yeah?” Keith interrupted him. He didn’t want to get into it in the middle of a parking lot at 8:45 at night. 

Keith watched as Lance rubbed his thumb on his palm. “Uh, yeah. See you there.”

Keith felt a little guilty as he swung his leg over his bike. He realized he probably just sounded like a dick. Here Lance was, being nice and interacting with him like a normal friend, and Keith just blows him off. Again. Keith sighed and revved his engine before taking off towards Lance’s. 

Everyone is already there when he arrives. He had taken the wrong street and had to loop around a few times. And he had to give himself another pep talk before walking in. Outside the door was a brown mat that said “Girl Scouts welcome, everyone else go away”. That eased Keith’s nerves as he knocked on the door with his gloved hand. 

The door swung open and Hunk smiled at him. “Hey you made it!” He beckoned Keith inside. “We were worried you couldn’t find the place.” 

Keith shrugged off his two jackets and hung them on the staircase along with the others. 

“You want a drink? Matt’s making some in the kitchen.” Hunk offered. 

“Uh, yeah sure.” Keith walked through the apartment. The stairs in front of the door led to what Keith assumed was bedrooms. To his left was a maroon couch and a brown armchair. A tv was situated on a stand and movies lined the shelf underneath. Matt stood at the breakfast-bar counter in the kitchen mixing drinks.The white fridge, which was so covered in papers and photos and magnets it didn’t look white anymore, was open as Pidge rummaged through it. Shiro and Allura we’re on the couch chatting, and smiling at eachother. Keith looked around again. And one more time. 

Where’s Lance?

“He’s taking a shower.” Hunk said, squeezing past Keith to get to the kitchen cupboards. 

Shit he had said that outloud. Stop thinking about Lance in the shower dammit! Pidge had lifted her head for a second to look at Keith, then quickly looked back in the fridge. 

Keith scowled at this and asked Matt about a drink. 

With his old fashioned drink in hand, Hunk called everyone to the living room for a game. When Keith saw Matt come over with three bottles assorted liquor, he had a pretty good idea that this game would involve shots. 

Hunk had everyone sit in a circle, and he set a shot glass in front of everyone. 

“Alrighty folks. Never have I ever.” Hunk grinned and Matt wiggled the vodka bottle in his hand. 

“You guys starting without me?!” Lance screeched as he came bounding down the stairs. 

“We were if you didn’t get your flat ass down here!” Pidge hollered 

“My ass is not flat!” Lance placed his hands on his butt before slapping Pidge in the arm before plopping down beside her.

Stop thinking about his ass stop thinking about his ass stop thinking about his ass… 

“Alright! Enough about Lance’s ass, let’s just play the game.” Shiro diffused the argument. 

“Sounds good Group Dad.” Lance winked at Shiro before grabbing a bottle of vodka and filling his shot glass with the clear liquor. “Who else wants vodka?” 

 

Soon everyone;s shot glasses are filled with their desired alcohol and the game began. 

“Okay, I’m starting!” Hunk announced. “Never have I ever sucked a dick.” 

“Just calling out the gays now aren’t we Hunk.” Lance grabbed his shot glass and tipped his head back, downing the vodka, as well as Keith and Matt with their whiskey. 

Pidge sat up straighter. “Never have I ever had sex, take that fuckers.” Pidge crossed her arms over her chest proudly as everyone but her took a shot. 

“Sometimes I think Pidge is the lucky one. Doesn’t have to deal with shitty one night stands.” Lance sighed.

Keith bites his lip to prevent him from saying something stupid. 

More refills. 

“Okay!” Lance rubbed his hands together. “ Never have I ever… Fucked in a public bathroom.” 

Keith slowly, and only with a little shame, downed another shot. 

Lance froze. 

“Keith? Really?” Shiro looked at him disapprovingly. 

Keith just shrugged. 

“No no no nope.” Pidge shook her head. “You gotta tell em the story now.” 

Keith half sighed and half laughed. “It was med school, and I was studying in the library late one night. And there was this guy that kept giving me eyes across the room. So uh we kind of just went to the bathroom at the same time and relieved some of our finals stress.” 

And Keith giggled. Actually giggled. The alcohol was starting to get to him. 

And Lance kept looking at him. Like- a lot. 

The game progressed and Keith found out that Allura didn’t have her first boyfriend until college. Shiro had tried to propose three times before he finally managed to do it. Lance had accidentally made a sex joke in front of his high school girlfriends parents. Matt had masturbated in his college library. 

Soon everyone was thoroughly intoxicated and they suggested watching a movie for the rest of the night. 

Fifteen minutes into the movie, Lance yawned, stood up and stretched. And Keith definitely didn’t stare at the strip of exposed skin. 

“Well guys I am exhausted. Thank you all for coming tonight, it meant a lot.” He beamed sleepily at his friends. 

They all said goodnight to Lance, and Keith felt unnerved by his absence. Later, he asked Hunk where the bathroom was. 

“The one downstairs is all wacky so you can use the upstairs one.”

Keith thanked him and walked up stairs, his socks sliding on the thin carpet. 

He saw two rooms with the light on. To his right the bathroom light was on, and Lance was inside brushing his teeth. He now wore just his briefs and a baggy shirt and Keith swallowed the noise he wanted to make. 

“Uh, sorry-” Keith muttered, ducking his head like he was in trouble. 

“Oh, you heed uh afroom?” Lance said, toothpaste smeared over his lips. 

“Uh yeah, but no rush-” 

“No, I’m done anyways.” Lance said after spitting into the sink and setting his toothbrush in a cup on the counter. 

“Thanks.” Keith muttered, and waited till Lance was fully out of the bathroom before going in. All to avoid any possible contact with the tan boy who was showing a lot of skin and leg and- 

Ugh. 

Keith peed quickly and rubbed his face with cold water. He was feeling really warm. Probably from the alcohol. Maybe because of something else… 

Keith emerged and Lance was lingering in the hallway, rubbing his palm with his thumb. 

“Sorry, just need my face mask stuff.” 

And- he looked uncomfortable. He looked nervous. Sounded nervous. 

Keith leaned against the door frame for support because he was feeling a little wobbly. Probably from the alcohol. Maybe something else. 

“Yeah, sure.” Keith yawned as Lance brushed passed him and contact and oh that was-

Keith felt like someone had touch him with a hot poker on his shoulder, where Lance had placed his hand as he passed him. 

“You want to do one?

And Keith didn’t hear that the right way. 

“What?” 

Lance smirked. “A face mask? Feels nice.” 

Did he want to do a /face mask/. Face mask, Keith. Not Lance. 

“Uh sure?” 

“Cool!” Lance smiled and beckoned him to follow. To his room. 

Lance’s room. 

Keith took it all in and the first thing he noticed were the dozens of pairs of pointe shoes hanging along the wall near the top of the ceiling. 

“That’s a lotta of shoes.” He said aloud. Wow he was really drunk. 

“Every pair I’ve ever owned.” Lance hummed and laughed. He must have been pretty drunk too. He sat on his bed, patting the spot beside him and produced two headbands and handed one to Keith. 

“It’s for your hair.” Lance smirked and laughed again when Keith just held it in his hand and stared at it. 

Keith put the hand band over his hand and smoothed down his bangs with it. When he looked up, Lance was staring. Again. 

“You checkin’ me out?” 

And woah where did that come from? Keith would have to be really careful with what he said from now on. 

Lance turned pink and continued to put his on as well. His hair was shorter so it stuck up around the edge of the headband. “You just look funny.” 

Cute, Keith thought. 

No. 

No no no no, Keith told himself in his hand. Just friends. Apologize, then be friends. You just got out of a relationship. An extremely unhealthy one but-

“-And so it might tingle a little but it’s supposed to do that.” 

Keith blinked at him, having missed Lance’s speil. 

“Uh, I don’t really know how to, like-” He gestured to the jar of sea foam green paste and to his face in one swooping motion. 

Lance giggled, and Keith thought he could listen to that on a loop for hours. 

“Move a little closer.” Lance smiled at him. 

Do what now?

But Keith did. Because Keith was Keith. And he couldn't control his fucking emotions. 

He watched Lance dip his fingers into the jar and rub them on his other fingers. 

“Looks like alien goo.” Keith said. 

Yeah wow he was really drunk. 

Lance laughed. “Don’t ruin this for me forever man.” 

Then Lance was touching his face. Well with the purpose of putting the paste on his face. But still. There was some major skin to skin contact happening there. Lance spread it on carefully and wow their faces were so close. Keith watched as Lance’s tongue poked out of his mouth, eyebrows knit in conversation. Long fingers spread on the cool substance and Keith swore he could fall asleep. 

“Relax your face.” Lance patted his cheek playfully. 

Keith must have been scowling. Keith made an over-exaggerated show of relaxing, slumping his shoulders forward and huffing a sigh.

Lance rolled his eyes and laughed. “Okay not that much.” He nudged nudged Keith in the arm with his elbow. 

Lance leaned back and inspected his face mask job. “Mmkay. You do me now.” 

And Keith snorted. Full on ugly snort as he covered his mouth and began cracking up. 

When Lance realized what he said he bust up laughing. “Oh my god not what I meant!”

“Awe bummer.” Keith fake pouted, sticking his lip out for extra effect. 

Lance eyes widened for a second, before wiping his hands on a towel and handing the jar to Keith. And Keith spread the face mask on a carefully as Lance. And he knew Lance was watching him. 

Lance set a timer for ten minutes and they were strangely silent the entire time. The few times Keith tried to scratch his face, Lance was there to smack his arm away. 

His phone began to chirp and they went to the bathroom to wash it off. Then back to Lance’s room. Back sitting on the bed. 

“I’m leaving for a couple months.” Lance said out loud. 

They were laying on his bed beside each other. Not touching, not speaking. 

“What?” Keith sat up. 

“Going on a little tour with my company.” He said plainly. Like he was telling Keith he was gonna have cereal for breakfast. 

“Oh.” 

And Keith hated that that was all he said. 

“Yep.” Lance made a ‘pop’ sound at the end. 

More silence. Keith laid back down. 

Lance breathing. 

“Hey Lance?” 

“Yeah?”

Keith was on his side now, facing the other boy. And god they were so close. 

“I’m sorry I was a dick to you.” 

Pause. 

“I’m sorry I kissed you.” 

“Don’t apologize for that.” And oh god what was Keith doing. He couldn't do this. He shouldn't. 

But fuck did he want to. 

“Okay.” 

And Keith swore there was another person controlling his words because- “You should kiss me.” 

Lance mouth hung slack. “What?”

“Kiss me.” 

“Keith-”

And before he could finish Keith was surging forward and pressing his lips lightly to Lance’s and oh shit he was in too far too deep sinking... sinking... 

And he hit the bottom as Lance pressed back, wrapping an arm around Keith’s torso, pulling him closer, tighter. Their shared warmth was multiplied as Keith swiped his tongue across Lance’s bottom lip, slipping into his mouth and the warmth and the gentleness. Lance made a sound in the back of his mouth and oh god that- that was a lot. 

Then Keith was moving, rolling, sliding so he was straddling Lance’s narrow hips and kissing him harder and more sure and more desperate. He felt hands on his lower back, pressing him closer and Lance was still making those noises. 

“Keith-” Lance moaned into his mouth. 

And then Keith was very much motivated. He moved his hands under Lance’s shirt, rubbing up and down and up and down, feeling the smoothness of his skin and his firm chest. And then hands were everywhere. Chest, back, arms, neck, ass, thighs. And then Keith’s shirt was off and he didn’t know when that happened and so he pushed up Lance’s shirt too, pulling it off his arms before ducking back down to kiss him again, biting and tugging at his lips. Lance turned his head to lick along Keith’s jaw, down his neck before latching on and sucking hard. 

“Ah fuck Lance!” Keith wheezed, clutching the man’s hips even tighter. He rolled his hips down and he could feel Lance’s moan against his neck. Lance unlatched with a wet ‘smack’ sound and moved back to Keith’s lips. Keith could feel Lance getting hard as he lifted his hips up into Keith and god that felt good but he needed more. 

Lance was way ahead of him as long fingers made quick work of Keith's, shoving down the dark jeans and taking a handful of Keith’s ass. 

“Hmmm…” Keith hummed as they quickened the pace of their hips. 

“Hmm, pants- mpf off-” Lance panted in between kisses. 

In the quickest time possible, Keith got off the bed, closed the door quietly and shucked his pants. He crawled back on top of Lance and hands were back on his ass and his hips and lips on his shoulder. 

Lance pulled away for a moment, gasping for breath. “Keith are you sure about this?”

And Keith froze. He froze and stared at Lance because he wasn’t sure he had ever heard those words before. 

Especially not in this setting. 

“Wha- what?” Keith stuttered, breathing heavily, his grip on Lance’s hips loosening. 

Lance looked at him, eyebrows scrunching slightly. “I- I’m just making sure you’re good. That you want to do this?” 

Keith’s mouth hung slack. Lance was asking. Asking for permission. Actually asking. 

“Keith?” Lance said quietly. “We can stop if you want.” Lance let his hands fall off Keith’s shoulders. 

But Keith didn’t want to stop. Keith wanted this so bad. 

“Keith- mpf!” 

Keith surged forward and kissed him hard, cupping the sides of his face. 

“Mh- is that- mm- a yes?” Lance said in between kisses. He was grinning.

“Yes.” Lips. “Yes.” Cheek. “Yes.” jaw. “Yes.” Neck. Chest. Hip. Thigh. 

Lance giggled beneath him as Keith peppered kisses in between his thighs. Keith palmed Lance through his briefs and a obscene moan escaped Lance’s lips. 

“Shh.” Keith chuckled, letting a hand sneak up to drag his fingers across Lance’s lips. “I think people are still here.” 

“Hmm well they should leave and you should- ah ah really stop teasing me.” Lance let out a shaky breath. 

Keith tugged down Lance’s briefs, Lance lifting his hips to help. And then Keith was swallowing Lance down and the sounds and shuddering that was coming from Lance was driving Keith crazy. A long hand slid down Keith’s scalp, Up and down and up and down and- 

“Oh god Keith I’m close!” Lance hissed. 

Keith licked and sucked faster, motivated by the shaky hand rubbing along his head. As Lance got closer, Keith moved Lance’s boxers over his cock and sucked on his hip as he came, his body shuddering and a high pitched noise releasing in the back of his throat as one hand covered it firmly. 

Keith wanted to move back up to kiss Lance, who was currently breathing very heavily, eyes closed loosely. But he knew it wasn’t cool to kiss someone after you just went down on them. So Keith settled to kissing his neck. 

“You good?” Keith mumbled against this jaw. 

“Hmm very.” Lance hummed. “Your turn.” 

And then Lance was moving with unknown energy, crawling on top of Keith and sucking on his neck earnestly. 

“Oh fuck Lance~” Keith sighed as hips and crotches met and the warmth increased and more and more. 

Then Lance was traveling down, tongue dragging down Keith's torso, stopping at each nipple, then down to the hip bones and to his thighs. Fabric moving away and-

“Oh shit!” Keith slapped his hand over his mouth as Lance mouth worked wonders. Lance’s hands slid up Keith's chest, smoothing over the pale skin. 

For a split second Alec’s face popped into his head. He swallowed the bile taste in his mouth. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Just Lance. Lance is here now. Lance, Lance, Lance, Lance… 

And when Keith came Lance swallowed that shit and damn if that wasn’t really fucking sexy. 

“Good?” Lance whispered into Keith’s hip as he wiped his mouth with a random shirt laying on the bed. 

All Keith could do was nod, his arms above his head as he tried to calm his breathing down. 

Lance chuckled and disappeared for a moment, before coming back with a toothbrush in each hand. Keith stared at him as Lance handed one to him. “I really want to lay in bed with you and kiss you and so I thought we could uh brush our teeth so we could do that.” Lance rambled, his face turning pink. 

Keith smiled and took the toothbrush. 

*

“Hey Lance?” 

“Hmm?” 

Keith was curled into Lance, his head laying in the junction of his shoulder and chest. They had brushed their teeth and kissed slowly for a while, hands running through each others hair. And Keith felt warm. Lance was so warm. In every way. And it wasn’t fair or natural just how comfortable Keith felt around him. 

“Thanks.” 

He felt Lance chuckle. “For what?” 

“For-” And what was Keith thanking him for? He wanted to say everything. But that wasn’t entirely true. “For this.” 

Wow, real specific Keith. 

“For the blowjob? The cuddles?” Lance snickered. 

“No, well yeah. But just you- you’re really kind of perfect and I guess I’ve wanted to be with you for a while, even if I didn’t know it. But you’re just like, really great? And funny and talented and even though I was an asshole for a while you still, you we’re still so kind to me and, yeah. Yeah that’s it.” Keith sighed, embarrassed by his rambling. He resorted to burying his face in Lances shoulder. 

“Well you deserve to be treated well.” Lance said gently, kissing the top of Keith’s head, making him blush even more. 

Lance held him a bit tighter, and kissed Keith’s eyebrow. 

“Ugh stop being so nice!” Keith groaned into his chest, swinging a leg over Lance’s hip. 

Lance laughed and peppered him with kisses again. “You’re like a koala, you’re so cute!” 

Keith groaned again and kissed Lance firmly. “You *kiss* are *kiss* ridiculous.” 

“Hmm but you like it.” Lance grinned at him cheekily. 

Keith rolled his eyes and kissed him again. 

He was okay. He was gonna be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading pals!! They finally did it! took em long enough lol 
> 
> Leave kudos and comments my love, I love hearing what u have to say :)))
> 
> <3 Jay


	7. C7 How To Care For Your Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was a ride from start to finish tbh

Chapter 7 

Hands. Too rough. Lips. Too rough. Teeth. Too much. A heavy, unwanted weight on his body, his arms pinned above his head by those calloused hands and- and- yelling and yelling- who was yelling? Too much- too much- too fucking much- too much- 

Keith’s eyes snapped open. He released his grip on the sheets and felt his forehead, which was covered in a light layer of sweat. He sat up slowly and looked around. This wasn’t his room… oh fuck. Right. Lance. And- 

They slept together. 

That actually happened. 

And- where was Lance? 

The spot beside him had the covers drawn back, a long indent in the sheets pointing out the Lance was there. 

They had slept in the same bed together. That made Keith's heart beat a little faster.

He drew back the covers and planted his feet on the hardwood. Oh shit his head hurt. Yeah, he drank a little too much last night. He could hear noises coming from downstairs. People talking. Did the others stay over too? Keith panicked for a moment because he really didn’t want to spend his morning after with his brother and Pidge. Keith slipped on some sweatpants he found on the floor. He had to roll the cuffs three times because yep these were Lance’s. He found a shirt that was probably also Lance’s and put that on too. 

Slowly he made his way down the hallway, trying to listen to the voices downstairs. 

He could hear Lance. 

And he could hear Hunk. That made sense, he lived here too. 

There was another voice, much more delicate that than boys. It didn’t sound like Pidge or Allura, so they must have gone home last night, or left early this morning. Eventually Keith knew he had to go down there. So he padded down the carpeted stairs, his hand grazing the railing.. He could hear something sizzling in a pan. It smelled really good. 

“Morning Keith!” Hunk said cheerfully, with a very obvious smirk on his face. The owner of the delicate voice was a woman seated beside Hunk. She had kind brown eyes and a short bob framed her face. Must have been Hunk’s girlfriend. 

Lance was wearing a grey sweatshirt and black joggers that hung low on his hips and oh god that made Keith’s mouth water more than the pancakes he was making. 

“Hmm mornin’ sleepy-head.” Lance set the spatula down and walked over to him. 

Keith couldn't help but blush. “Morning.” 

Lance leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. “You sleep good?” 

Keith’s mind drifted back to his nightmare. “Uh, yeah.” 

Lance smiled. “Good. You want some breakfast?”

And Keith looked back to the pancakes resting in the pan. Hunk had taken over the flipping duties. 

“Do you make breakfast like this every morning?” Keith couldn’t remember the last time he had something more elaborate than a banana for breakfast.

“Usually just on the weekends.” Lance shrugged. “And also cause you’re here.” He smiled at him again. 

Keith blushed even harder. 

He was soon introduced to the girl, Shay. She had Hunk have been dating for a while. Keith liked her. 

Painkillers were distributed for their hangovers and after they all ate together at the table, Hunk and Shay left and then it was just Lance and Keith. 

As soon as they were out the door, Lance strode over to Keith, cupped his face in his hands, and kissed him fimly. Keith got a major headrush as he kissed him back, melting into the taller boy. 

“I didn’t want to do that while they were here.” Lance said, their foreheads still touching. 

Keith just smirked and kissed him again. “Thank you for breakfast.” He smiled. 

“Of course.” Lance said, like it was the most normal thing to do. Cook someone breakfast. Keith was very unfamiliar with the topic. 

Lance kissed him softly one more time before going back to the kitchen to clean up. 

“Do you need any help?” Keith offered. Lance was making him feel special and it made him feel a little guilty. If anyone deserved to feel special it was Lance. 

“Only if you want.” Lance said, before continuing to hum along to the music coming from his phone.

So Keith dried as Lance washed, and it was such a simple thing to do, but it made Keith feel like a million bucks. He was still trying to convince himself that the past twelve hours actually happened. And the more times Lance nudged his hip against Keith’s, the more he was able to believe it. 

When Keith left around noon, Lance kissed him goodbye, and let him keep the clothes he had borrowed. 

“Another excuse for me to see you again.” Lance had said, before kissing him again. 

And again. 

And again. 

And again, until Keith had to pull away and wave goodbye. 

When he started his bike, he kinda wished he had Lance’s chest against his back to keep him warm on his ride home. 

___________

Keith pulled down his face mask and let it hang around his neck and tore off his gloves, which were covered in fluids and tossed them away. 

“Nice surgery.” 

Keith whipped around and saw Pidge leaning against the door frame smirking. 

“Jesus, you scared me.” Keith huffed as he discarded the apron, and washed his hands. 

“You should just expect me by now.” Pidge shrugged. “Soooo, you spent the night at Lance’s the other night.” She slid up beside him. 

Just the thought of it caused heat to creep up Keith’s neck. 

“Didn’t you?” Keith raised an eyebrow casually, attempting to keep a calm face. He hoped Pidge couldn't hear his heart pounding against his chest. 

“No, we all went home after the movie.” She hummed. 

“Hm, yeah I just passed out on Lance’s floor.” He shrugged, hoping it would be convincing enough. 

“Sounds uncomfortable.” 

“Yeah it was.” 

Pause. 

“You know Keith, you guys aren’t exactly quiet.” Pidge whispered in his ear, before darting out of the scrub room. 

“What-” 

But she was gone. 

Fuck. 

____

When Keith got home that day he went to his room and put on Lance’s t-shirt. 

Yeah, he was a pathetic. 

He put on his combat boots and tucked his scrub pants into them. Good look Keith, good look. His fridge had been baren for a couple days, and he had been living off of the hospital's cafeteria food. Shiro had been pestering him to get some real food, and actually spend some time cooking. Promotes healthy eating or some shit. So he found the list that Shiro had texted him a week ago with ingredients for meals. He swore his brother thought he was still in undergrad. 

So Keith drove to Shiro’s so he could borrow his car. He couldn't fit more than two bags on the back of his bike. 

“Hey Keith!” Shiro smiled nice and wide, and Keith rolled his eyes. 

“I’m sure Pidge told you so stop smiling like a psycho.” Keith stepped inside for a moment. 

Shiro toned down his smile. Just a bit. “I’m just glad that you’re working some things out.” His brother shrugged innocently, handing Keith a set of keys. 

“Yeah if that’s what you want to call it.” Keith snorted. 

Shiro chuckled. “Yeah, we’re all gonna miss him when he leaves.” 

Keith’s head snapped up. “Leaves? Where is he going?”

Shiro’s eyebrows lifted up. “He didn’t tell you?” 

“Tell me what?” Keith clutched the keys in his hands. 

“That he’s going on tour for two months. With his company?” 

Keith’s expression became hard. Did Lance tell him that? He couldn't remember much of what they had talked about last night. But even if he had told Keith that night, it’s not like he thought Keith would remember. Obviously some things happened after their conversation that may have taken up the majority of his memories for that night. 

“Uh, no I don’t think he told me.” Keith predicted there would be the outline of a key in his palm for a while. 

“Oh.” Shiro scratched the back of his neck. 

“Yeah.” Keith swallowed. “Uh, thanks for the car. I’ll bring it back tomorrow morning.” 

“Sounds good.” Shiro pushed a smile. “Don’t crash it.”

“No promises.” 

That was what Shiro used to say in highschool when Keith had bought his bike. He had only crashed twice and it wasn’t even his- okay well one of the times was his fault. 

Keith drove the slate colored sedan to Fred Meyers, and pulled out the list. He leaned his elbows on the cart handle, scanning the aisles. 

Kale? Really Shiro? Keith sighed as he reluctantly pulled the leafy vegetable from the shelf. 

“Keith?” 

That voice. So damn familiar that Keith didn't want to turn around. 

But because Keith was Keith, he did. 

Broad shoulders. Calloused hands. Rough stubble. 

“Hi.” Keith said curtly, not wanting to be anything but stone cold. 

“Uh, how have you been?” Alec had a bag of apples and a box of crackers in his arms. 

“Fine.” Stone cold. 

Alec nodded, then jutted his jaw towards Keith’s cart. “Shiro making you buy groceries?” He chuckled half-heartedly. 

Don’t fucking make jokes now. Keith’s knuckles turned white as he gripped the cart. 

“Yep.” Stone cold. 

Another nod. Another jut of the chin. “The Nutcracker? That shirt new?”

Keith looked down at his shirt. Lance’s shirt. He’d forgotten he was wearing it. “Uh, it’s a friend’s.” A little less stone cold. 

Another nod. This time with teeth chewing on a lip and a little look of… anger? 

“So you're seeing someone then.” He said as a statement, not as a question. 

Wow way to make assumptions, geez. 

Keith thought he might rip the handle of the cart. “That’s none of your business.” Even less stone cold. 

Alec scoffs. “Okay, yeah sure. We dated for three years and now you’ve suddenly moved on, no big deal right?” 

Keith was shaking now. He knew if he said something, it would come out sounding weak. 

He just shook his head, and firmly said, “Goodbye,” and walked away calmly. 

And Keith felt like he couldn’t walk. He wanted to scream and cry and lay down and hug himself and crawl into a hole and never come out. So he left his partially filled cart in the middle of the produce aisle and walked out of the store. And then tears started coming. Spilling out of his eyes and down his nose onto his shirt. His hands shook and his knees shook and his lip and his chest fucking hurt like hell. He got into Shiro’s car and let it out. 

He felt like the most pathetic person on the planet as he sobbed in the middle of the Fred Meyers parking lot. He just wanted to go home and curl up in his bed. He just wanted to go home so he started the car and attempted to wipe the tears from his eyes but they kept coming and coming and Keith’s hands were still shaking as he pulled out of the parking lot. Why the fuck is he so worked up over seeing his ex in the grocery store? He’s over Alec. 

Except Keith knew that he wasn’t because if he was he wouldn’t be sobbing and shaking as he drove down the road. He was crying so hard he could barely see and his legs were shaking and he was biting his lip so hard he could taste blood and he still couldn't see but he kept going and going and going and going and- 

Then everything stopped. 

 

*

Bright Lights. Loud noises. Bad smell in his nose. Fuck his head hurt. And his arm. And his chest. 

Was someone yelling? He wished they would stop. 

He heard the ringing of a cell phone. More loud noises. 

Sirens, Keith thought. Those were sirens. 

Fuck I’m tired, he thought, still not opening his eyes. Just gonna sleep for a bit. 

Just for a bit… 

*

“Keith? Keith?” 

Fuck his head still hurt. 

That was his brother voice. 

“Shiro?”

“Oh god you’re awake.” A sigh of relief. The feeling of the cool prosthetic on his arm. 

“Shiro.” Keith forced his eyes open and immediately wanted to close them. What was with all the bright lights? 

“You are never borrowing my car again.” A weary chuckle. 

Keith opened his eyes a bit more. Shiro was sitting in a chair beside him. There was white everywhere. A hospital. He was in the hospital. 

“How’r you feeling?” Shiro asked gently. 

“My chest hurts.” Keith wheezed. He searched for the morphine button with the hand that wasn’t in a brace and pressed it. “What- what-” It was tiring just to form a sentence. 

“Don’t talk.” Shiro, placed a hand on his shoulder again. “You crashed. Ran a red light and t-boned someone.” 

“Are they okay?” Keith panicked, but his voice still sounded sluggish. 

“Yeah, they’re okay. ‘Bout as bad as you.” 

Keith lifted his head a little. His chest was wrapped in bandages. His right hand was in a brace. 

“You had to have surgery. Your broken ribs were stabbing your lungs. Probably why your chest hurts so much.” 

“Fuck.” Keith breathed and sat back. “I’m sorry I crashed your car.” He sighed. 

Shiro shook his head. “I’m just glad you’re okay. Do- do you remember what happened.”

Keith swallowed. Damn even that hurt. “I saw Alec at the store. And I- I kinda just broke down. Probably should have called you to drive me.” He sure did regret not doing that now. 

Shiro nodded quietly. 

“How long was I out.” 

“The crash happened last night. And it’s about ten in the morning right now.” 

Keith sighed again. Fuck that really hurt. In fifteen minutes he could push the morphine button again. 

He turned his head to look around the room and- Lance? 

Shiro watched his gaze flow to the tan man whose long limbs were currently curled up in an armchair in the room, asleep. 

“He’s been here all night with me. Refused to leave. Pidge came last night. She almost begged to do your surgery but they wouldn't let her.” 

All night? He slept here? Or by the looks of it, stayed awake here. His hair was a mess, and it made Keith snicker. And, were those glasses perched on top of his head. Damn, Keith bet he looked cute with those on. 

“I’ll wake him up, and then I’m gonna go get coffee.” Shiro pushed the chair back and stood up. “You want anything?” 

Keith shook his head. Fuck that hurt too. His whole body ached down to his bones. 

Keith laid his head back down as he listened to Shiro quietly shake Lance awake. Keith didn’t really want Shiro to wake him up. He looked really tired. But Keith couldn’t really do much to stop him. 

He could hear Lance murmur objections to being woken up, but once Shiro mentioned Keith was awake he was scrambling out of the chair, joints sounding like popcorn. 

“Keith oh my god I thought you- well you scared the shit out of me.” Lance crouched beside the bed. 

Keith rolled his head to the side to look him in the face. The tan man had dark circles under his eyes and a frown on his face. It almost looked like a different person. His glasses were perched on his nose. He did look cute. 

“Sorry.” Keith muttered. 

Lance huffed a tired laugh and shook his head. “Jesus Keith.” 

Keith didn’t really know what was so funny. He really was sorry. He didn’t want people to worry over hum. He was a grown ass man. 

Then, “You’re leaving.” 

And Keith didn’t really know why he decided now of all times to bring this subject up. 

Lance face fell again, looky guilty. “Uh- well yeah, didn’t I tell you that?” 

“I don’t really remember.” Keith said, the corners of his lips turned down. 

“Oh.” Lance’s mouth stayed open. He sat back in the chair against the wall, elbows on his knees. 

The beeping of machines. The quiet bustle in the hallway. Painful breathing. Definitely for Keith. Maybe for Lance. 

Lance cleared his throat. “Uh, I’m leaving in a week. Just for two months.” 

As if adding the “just” would make the trip sound shorter. 

“Okay.” Keith said quietly. He- he didn't know what to say. And the things running through his mind… he shouldn’t really say. But because Keith was Keith, he said them anyways. 

“Is that why you slept with me?” 

Pause. 

Breath. 

“What?” 

Keith repeated himself. “Because you’re leaving. Is that why slept with me. Or did you pity me?” 

“Keith you can’t be serious.” Lance shook his head. 

“Just answer the question Lance.” Keith said, more weary than angry. 

“Of course not.” He said quickly. “No, of course not.” Slower this time. 

Keith pressed the morphine button again. “Okay.” 

“I’m serious Keith. I do really like you.” 

“Okay.” 

“And I’m not leaving forever, you know.” 

“Okay.” 

Beeping. Voices outside. 

“What about you?” Lance said confidently. 

“What?” 

“Why did you sleep with /me/?” 

Keith turned his head. “Because I like you.” 

“I’m not just a rebound or something?” 

And Keith wanted to sit up, but he knew that was gonna hurt like hell. It was hard to be taken seriously when you were laying down. 

“No. No you’re not.” Keith said firmly. 

Cause he liked Lance. He like Lance so much it kind of worried him. It made him wonder if Lance might have been one of the reasons he had broken up with Alec. And that thought worried him even more. 

“Okay.” Lance said. It sounded calm and sure. It made Keith feel calm and sure. 

“But- we- we probably shouldn't- we should wait. Until you get back.” It hurt to say that. And Keith didn’t think it was because of his ribs. 

Pause. “O-okay.” 

Shit. That sounded so- broken. Hurt. 

Another pause. A long one. A really long one. Keith hated it. 

“Uh, I’m gonna go find Shiro. Maybe run home and shower.” Lance stood up slowly. 

“Okay.” 

And Keith didn’t like this. This dynamic that was happening. They had slept together only what, two, three nights ago? And it was like fucking day and night. And Keith knew it was his fault. It was all his fault. He wished he could leap out of bed and grab Lance by the collar and kiss him. But he could barely move without pain screaming through his body. So he didn’t do that. 

“Lance.” 

Lance was in the shrugging on his jacket. “Yeah?” 

“You’ll come say goodbye before you leave, right?” And it might have been a reach but-

“Of course.” Lance smiled at him. Then he took two long strides towards the bed and rubbed the pad of his thumb over Keith’s cheekbone. With eyelids fluttering closed, he leaned down and gave him a feathery kiss. He could feel Lance’s chapped lips and his eyelashes tickling his cheeks. 

“Get some rest.” He whispered. 

Then he was gone. 

And Keith had a little more hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imma be honest I didn't plan for Keith to get in a car wreck until like two paragraphs before I wrote the damn thing so enjoy !! 
> 
> <3 Jay


	8. C8 The Importance Of Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance get's back and Keith isn't so sure about some things......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Friends! The fic has been extended because guess what ! new conflicts have come about ! wowie fun times welp enjoy <3
> 
> Also: Chapter 9 will be up sometime next week because I'm away for the weekend and won't have time to write 
> 
> Tumblr: TheoreticalMindGames - I post klance things and small drabbles I write :))) as well as updates for my fics

Chapter 8 

Two weeks had passed and Keith really just wanted to do something.

“Shiro please just let me do something.” Keith groaned as his brother pulled food from his reusable grocery bags. 

“Keith you are supposed to be resting. You had surgery two weeks ago. You broke your ribs and-”

“Yeah Shiro I’m a doctor I know.” He huffed. “I am aware of what injuries I’ve procured and what post-op treatment entails.” 

Shiro rolled his eyes. “Well you seem to be trying to rush you’re recovery.” 

Keith groaned again and tipped his head back on the couch. He felt like his ass and the couch had fused together. His brother had been over all the time, checking on him, getting him groceries and dinner, doing his laundry. Keith felt like he was a baby. And he had told Shiro that several times. 

“Don’t you have a wedding you should be planning?” Keith looked at his brother who was stocking his fridge with kale. Again. 

“Allura is handling all that. We still have a while before we get down to the real planning and stuff.” 

“Yeah like one month. She probably has everything done by now, you’re just not paying attention.”

“I pay attention!” Shiro pointing at him with a box of cheerios. Aka the most boring cereal to ever exist. 

“No, you’re worrying over your very self sufficient brother more than your soon to be wife.” 

Shiro narrowed his eyes at Keith before turning to put the cheerios away. 

“I’m just trying to help Keith. I’m your older brother. That’s what I do.” 

And Keith could see the weariness in his eyes. And he was right. It was just what he did. Shiro had been there for Keith when he needed him most. When Keith had crashed his bike the first time. When Keith would get too drunk at parties and needed a ride. When he became his legal guardian as soon as Shiro turned eighteen. And Keith was only fourteen and a freshman in highschool with anger issues. And that was a lot for an eighteen year old about to go into college. Shiro gave up University for him and instead went to a community college. And then Shiro left him. Joined the Airforce. And yeah he was mad. He was really pissed because he had to go back to a foster home. But when he graduated, Shiro was back, with one less arm. And then they both went to school together. And Keith regretted all those times he didn’t say thank you. Regretted those times that he yelled and argued with his brother instead of saying ‘hey, you were right all along I’m sorry I love you.’ 

“I know.” Keith turned, and his ribs still ached. “Thank you.” 

And Shiro smiled at him. “You want a smoothie?”

“As long as you don’t put kale in it.” 

Shiro laughed and pulled out the blender while Keith settled back into the couch. 

___________________

>> From Lance <3 (4:22 pm) <<

Lance <3 - it is soooo warm here i’m never going back to seattle 

Keith - yes you’ve said that several times 

Lance <3 - I know but I feel like the warmth really needs to feel how much i appreciate it 

Keith - thats very kind of you 

Lance <3 - i thought so too

Lance <3 - how are feeling??

Keith - my ribs still ache a little, but my bruises are mostly gone. Still have the boot and wrist brace tho 

Lance - well you’ll get the boot and brace off soon tho?

Keith - yeah, about a two more weeks. 

Lance - do you get to work, like at all? 

Keith - well I kinda need both hands functioning to do that 

Lance <3 - yeah you are very right. I don’t know if i could trust a doctor with only one hand 

Keith - well good thing shiro isn’t operating on you 

Lance <3 - OH MY GOD KEITH U CAN'T MAKE JOKES ABOUT YOUR BROTHERS MISSING ARM ?!

Keith - I do it all the time. He thinks they’re funny 

Lance <3 - every knew thing i find out about your brother utterly shocks me 

Keith - How are u doing? 

Lance <3 - oh it's great! We’ve been taking classes on top of the performances and they are like so good! 

Lance <3 - I feel bad that I kinda left my students to allura but at the same time I’m having such a good time 

 

Keith grinned at his phone as he poured macaroni noodles into the pan. It felt good to be moving around and making food for himself. He had to force Shiro to go home, promising he would take it easy. So he was making mac and cheese like the grown man he was and watching The Office. 

 

Keith - that’s really good. I’m glad it's going well. 

Lance<3 - me too! I miss u tho 

 

Keith almost dropped his spoon in the boiling water. He was grinning so much his cheeks hurt. 

 

Keith - i miss you too 

Lance <3 - !!!!!!!

Keith - ? huh

Lance <3 - you are just very cute 

 

Keith’s heart did a backflip inside his chest which did a backflip as well. What did he say back? Cute didn’t really do Lance justice. 

 

Keith - don’t do that im trying to cook and you’re distracting me 

Lance <3 - you’re cooking?? 

Keith - yes. A very healthy meal.

Lance <3 - if it came from a box it’s probably not very healthy 

Lance <3 - it came from a box didn’t it 

Keith - ...no… 

Lance <3 - lies. 

Keith - a doctor never lies. 

Lance <3 - hmm okay yeah sure McDreamy

 

And it had been a while since Lance had used that nickname. Keith never really liked it, but it was Lance who made him like it. The fact that it was their thing. That Lance was the only person who called him that. Just knowing that made Keith like it. 

 

Keith - im gonna eat now. Talk you u later 

Lance <3 - enjoy your very healthy non-boxed meal 

Lance <3 - <3 

 

And Keith was surprised he didn’t drop his phone or chuck it across the room. Because this was new. Sure they had used emojis before, but the heart. The heart was very new. And Keith wasn’t sure about that. And it shouldn’t be such a big deal because it’s really /not/. But of course it is. Keith was in love with someone for practically three years. And now the possibility of falling in love again, right after, seems like- well it seems like a lot. Too much emotional change in such a short span of time. This wasn’t the first time Keith had thought about this since Lance had left. The quick turnaround of events. The vague overlap of events. When did it all start to fall away? The gala night? Before that? After that? The past couple months were so blurry that he was having a hard time remembering how things had gone. 

He glanced at the heart one more time before setting his phone down and pouring the pasta into a bowl. He poured a bit onto his counter, as his wrist brace made doing even the simplest of tasks, forty times harder. 

He went and sat on the couch. And looked at his texts with Lance. Eat. Texts. Eat. Texts. 

When he finished he cleaned his bowl. 

Look at texts. 

Put bowl away. 

Look at Texts. 

 

>> To Lance (5:17 pm) 

Keith - :) 

___________________

 

A smiley face. He responded with a fucking smiley face. 

 

___________________

 

(5 weeks later)

“I can hear you bouncing your knee, you’re making /me/ anxious.” Pidge huffed from her spot in the front seat. 

Pidge, Keith, and Hunk were on their way to the airport. It was just supposed to be Hunk but then his car broke down so they had to borrow Pidge’s and she hated driving with other people in the car and Shiro still didn’t want Keith driving anything even if his ankle was only in a brace now and his wrist was /fine/. But he had crashed his brothers car so… he let him win this one. 

Hunk pulled into a spot in the car garage, grumbling about parking price and they all walked to the outside of baggage claim. 

“When did his flight land?” Pidge stuffed her hands in her pockets. 

“30 minutes ago.” 

“It shouldn't take that long to get out here should it?” 

Keith wasn’t really listening to their conversation. He was too busy freaking out and keeping his eyes on the groups of people exiting the revolving doors. He had this brick in his stomach that just kept rolling around and around and he wasn’t really sure why he was nervous. He /knew/ Lance liked him. He knew that. But- were they going to hug when they saw each other? Was it okay if Keith kissed him? Maybe just on the cheek? Would he sit in the back of the car with Keith? What even were they? Were they together? Were they just hooking up? Were-

“There’s Lance!” Hunk exclaimed, waving the tall boy over. 

Keith let out a breath. He couldn’t help but smile as Lance weaved through people, tugging a large suitcase behind him and a backpack slung over his shoulder. His cheeks were pink and his hair messy, like he had slept on the plane.

“Hey guys! You’re all here!” He beamed as he set his suitcase down and let Hunk wrap him up in a hug. Pidge squeezed herself between them and hugged Lance’s torso. 

Keith didn’t join in. Because there was still a voice in the back of his head saying ‘it’s too soon it’s too soon you’re not ready.’ 

And he really wished he could ignore that voice. He really wished he could because now Lance was looking at him, that cheeky smile plastered on his face. It only took him three strides before he was standing in front of Keith. 

“Hey.” Lance was rocking on his feet, as if he too wasn’t sure what to do. 

“Hey.” Keith watched Lance rub his palm with his thumb. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks. No casts.” He nodded his chin towards Keith’s foot. 

“Yeah. Just a brace.” 

And Keith saw Lance lean in slightly and oh god what he was supposed to do? So Keith just compromised by giving him a hug. Just a fucking hug. Nothing could scream friendzone more than a hug. At least he didn’t shake his hand. That would have been way worse. 

Lance’s response to hugging him back was delayed. That made Keith feel like shit but- but he really wasn't sure because that stupid fucking voice kept talking in his ear. 

Lance pulled away and ran a hand through his hair. His cheeks were red. “Uh, okay. Well let’s head home!” He turned to the other two. “I’m ready for like a five hour nap.” 

Keith watched Hunk and Pidge exchange looks. 

“Yeah, let’s head out.” Hunk smiled, attempting to break the tension. 

The tension that Keith had created. 

And fuck, that really made him feel like shit. 

*

When they got to Lance’s apartment, Hunk got out and helped Lance get his suitcase out of the trunk. He had sat in the backseat with Keith and they didn’t touch the whole time. 

Pidge got out to hug Lance again, so Keith thought it might be weird if he just stayed in the car. 

Keith hugged Lance again. Said he was glad Lance was back. 

Hunk told Lance he would be home after he dropped off Keith and Pidge, and as soon as the car doors were closed, Pidge turned around with a stern look on her face. 

“What the fuck was that?” 

Keith scowled at her. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh don’t do that Keith.” Pidge rolled her eyes. “With Lance? The tension was so thick I could bathe in it. Did something happen?” 

“Nothing happened.” He crossed his arms, looking out the window. 

“Well how do you go from sleeping with someone to giving them a hug when they get home from a two month trip?” 

“Pidge it’s nothing please leave it alone.” Keith sighed. Why was she so up in his business? Maybe he just wasn’t ready to date someone yet? Maybe he was still trying to figure everything out? 

“Well you made him feel like shit just so you know.” She muttered. 

“How would you know?” Keith snapped. “It’s not like you can read his mind. Just stay out of our personal lives for once in your goddamn life.” 

Pidge whipped around. “What the fuck Keith! I’m your friend! I’m trying to help you get your shit together because obviously something is wrong but your too fucking scared to say it outloud.”

“Guys can’t this wait-” Hunk said timidly. 

“Well my thoughts and my shit is my problem! Not yours. Maybe i just don’t want to date Lance right now.” 

And Keith hated that his voice cracked as he said it.

“That’s bullshit.” She huffed. “You look at the boy like the sun shines out of his ass.” 

“Stop fucking analyzing my love life!” 

“Well I wouldn’t have to if you would just-”

“Oh my god Shut up!” Hunk yelled. With quick maneuvering he turned the car into a parking lot and they jolted to a stop. “Get out of the car.” 

“What?” Keith’s eyes went wide. 

“Get out of the car.” Hunk said again. “I’m gonna sit right here and wait for you guys to get out and figure shit out. When your done get back in and I’ll take you home.” 

Pidge stared at her friend. “Hunk you can’t be ser-”

“Out!” The man’s hands were clenched on the wheel. 

Keith quickly unbuckled and stumbled out of the car. He had never seen Hunk mad before. It was very intimidating.

Pidge stomped out of the car and over to a bench, sitting down and pouting. Keith nudged at a pebble with his foot.

He really didn’t know what to say. How could he explain how he feels to Pidge when he can’t even figure it out himself. 

“I’m- I’m just trying to help Keith.” Pidge’s voice was quiet and the nearby traffic muffled her voice. 

“Well it’s not.” 

She sighed. “I- I just worry about you. It’s been like three months since you and Alec broke up? Maybe a bit longer and I know you- I know you’re still sad about it.” 

“God you’re still doing it!” Keith huffed, kicking the pebble across the road. 

“Because I’m right! Sometimes you just need someone to tell you things about yourself because your so unsure of how you feel. But I can see it Keith. I can see how you feel” 

Keith’s face hurt from frowning. “Pidge-” 

He sighed and sat beside her on the bench. “Lance deserves better than me. I’m a mess, obviously and- I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“Keith, Lance likes you a lot.”

“Yeah sure but he barely knows me. Once he spends enough time with me he’ll know I’m a mess.” 

“That’s what dating is. Getting to know someone.” 

“But I had a long term boyfriend only three months ago. That’s not a very long turnaround time.” 

“That’s okay. Not everyone is the same.”

“But I don’t-” Keith shook his head. 

How could he love Lance? How could he be able to give any more love to another person? He had loved the same person for three years and now that love is fading and he doesn’t know if he has any left. 

“A person like Lance deserves someone who will love him.” 

“But you know you like him. You like him a lot. Who says you won’t be able to love him?” 

Keith’s lips formed a thin line. He did like him. And it kind of seemed too good to be true. Too perfect of a situation that Keith just happened to have someone waiting for him as soon as he got out of a relationship. 

“Keith. Just talk to Lance. Actually talk to him.” 

And- and yeah. Keith was just gonna have to talk to him. 

*

When they got back in the car, Keith asked if Hunk if he could take him back to his and Lance’s apartment. He knew if he didn’t go now, he might never do it. 

So they dropped Pidge off and Hunk and Keith went back to the apartment. Hunk said he was going to go out for a bit and “let you guys chat.” Keith thanked him and climbed the six steps up to the front door. 

Keith took a breath before knocking on the door. His hands were shaking and /fuck/ why was he so nervous? 

“Hunk you can just come in- oh.” Lance’s jaw hung open slightly. 

“Hey.” Keith said, feeling uncomfortable. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to feel uncomfortable around Lance. 

Lance’s mouth was still agape. “Uh, what’s up?” 

So fucking casual. 

“Um, can- can we talk?” 

Lance let out a quiet breath. “Yeah. Yeah, come in.” 

Keith stepped inside and looked around. Everything was exactly the same. 

“What do you want to talk about?” Lance leaned against the back of the couch, leaving  
Keith to stand in the doorway. Lance’s posture suggested he was- well kinda pissed. 

“I- just want to know what’s gonna happen between us.” 

“Yeah me too.” Lance’s lips stayed tight together. 

Keith swallowed hard. “And uh- what- what do you-” He couldn’t form any words. He didn’t know how to start this shit. 

Lance picked up Keith’s inability to speak at the moment.“Well I’m confused because we sleep together and everything is just dandy and then I get back and you’re all distant.” Keith could tell Lance is trying to stay calm. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I just- I don’t know-”

“Don’t know what?” Lance’s eyes are like daggers. 

And Keith didn’t want to say it but- “Isn’t this happening a little too fast?” 

“What?” Lance stared at him, dipping his head forward like he couldn’t hear Keith. 

“Us. Aren’t we going to fast?” 

“I don’t know, that’s up to you.” Lance leaned back again. 

“What’s that supposed to mean.” Keith’s voice raised slightly. 

“You’re the one who just got out of a relationship. /I/ think we’re moving just fine. But what do you think?” 

And- and Keith didn’t know. “I don’t know.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Lance scoffed, turning away. 

“Hey!” Keith said loudly, capturing the other man’s attention. “Could you stop being an ass for a sec so we can talk?” 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Keith. Stop creating all this unnecessary drama! You think this thing between us revolves around you. Well guess what? It takes two people to make a relationship work.”

“I know how relationships work.” Keith growled. “I was in one for three years.”

“Yeah and look how that turned out.” Lance muttered. 

Keith was fuming now. All he came here to do was talk things out and everything would be okay and Keith would feel good. But now here Lance was treating him like shit and Keith didn’t /want/ this. He didn’t want this. 

“Well maybe this isn’t gonna work out.” 

And in less than a second Keith watched Lance’s face crumble. 

“What?” 

Keith really hope Lance couldn’t hear his heart pounding against his chest. Or see his hands shaking. Or his short breaths. 

“I said,” his voice wavered, “maybe this isn’t going to work.” 

“Keith you- I just want to know where you stand. I didn’t mean-”

“Well I don’t know where I stand so you’re just gonna have to be okay with that.” Keith bit his lip, which didn’t make him look as confident as he wanted. 

“Keith-”

BEEP BEEP! 

The sound came from Keith’s pocket. He checked his phone and saw a message in all caps. 

>> from Coran (2:07 pm) <<

WHERE’S YOUR PAGER ???!!! COME INTO WORK NOW ! 

 

Keith shoved his phone in his pocket. “I have to go.” 

“What?” Lance blinked at him. 

“Work. Sorry.” 

And part of him was grateful for an excuse to leave. Part of him felt guilty. 

“Keith are you serious right now?!” Lance waved his hands as Keith turned to let himself out. 

“We’ll finish this later.” Keith said on his way down the stairs.

Then he remembered that he had no way to get to the hospital. Fuck it, he’ll take the bus. 

“Keith!” Lance yelled after him. “You better not be lying about this!” 

Keith bit his lip until he tasted blood, and kept on walking. He heard the slam of a front door behind him. 

God, what kind of mess had he created?


	9. C9 Falling In Love, And Staying In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> falling in love again is hard.

Chapter 9 

Keith walked down the halls of the hospital and flipped through his patient’s chart. They were admitted four days ago and he still couldn't figure out what was going on. This past week he had trouble focusing in general. A week ago Lance had gotten back from his tour. A week ago Keith fucked everything up. A week ago Keith started getting nightmares. A week ago they had stopped texting each other. Keith had texted him the day after he had been called into work because a max-train had derailed. 

>> To Lance <3 (2:06 am) <<

Keith - I’m so sorry I just need some time 

 

Keith was back to working full time at the hospital and he was cleared for surgery. He was glad he had something to do. Pidge hadn’t said anything about the issue since that day. Neither had Hunk. Neither had Shiro. 

And so Keith tried to keep busy at work with this patient. He turned into the room to find them sitting up, a red DS poised in his hands. 

“Hey Oliver.” Keith set the chart by the foot of the bed and peered at the monitors. 

The eleven year old boy set the DS down and folded his arms. “Do I have to get blood drawn again?” 

Keith chuckled. The kid was direct. He liked it. 

“You may have to. I’m just trying out some different things right now.” 

“So you don’t know what to do?” Oliver’s face hardened. 

Keith pursed his lips. You don’t tell sick kids the truth. You sugarcoat it. That’s what his mentors have told him. But Keith didn’t ever think that was fair. 

“We’re still not sure what’s going on with you, and in order to find out we need to take some more tests.” Keith wrote the monitor numbers in the chart for today’s readings. "Where’s your mom today?”

Oliver hummed and settled back into the bed. “She’s grocery shopping. You know, you’re here like all the time. I see you in the halls. You live here or something?”

Keith smirked again. He liked this kid. “No, I just work a lot.”

“Don’t you have friends to hang out with?” 

Keith sucked in a breath. “I do. They’re just busy.”

“Yeah sure they are.” Oliver said slowly, his voice playful. 

Keith turned to him. “What’s that supposed to mean.”

“People only work all the time if they don't want to be around certain people. They need an excuse.”

Keith thought that Pidge and Oliver would probably get along well. Sometimes the patients were wiser than the doctors. 

“Well I’m here to talk about you, not me.” Keith closed the chart folder. “I’m gonna go get some stuff and we’re gonna take your blood again, alright?” 

Oliver groaned dramatically and flopped down on the bed as Keith left the room chuckling. He thought about what Oliver had said, about him avoiding his friends. The kid was right. Keith was definitely avoiding his friends. Especially Lance. 

Lance hadn’t texted him back. Or called. Keith had to break the habit of looking at his phone, expecting a ridiculous and random text from Lance. 

But there are no texts from Lance. And none from Pidge. And none from Shiro. Everyone’s leaving him be. Just what he wanted. 

Right?

____________

 

>> from Podgehog (7:24 pm) <<

Podgehog - movie night tomorrow at my place if you wanna come 

Podgehog - I know everyone would like to see you 

Keith - everyone but Lance 

Podgehog - that’s not true 

Keith - yes it is i friendzoned him

Podgehog - but did you?? 

Podgehog- you just said you needed some time

Podgehog - this is him giving you time 

 

Keith let out a frustrated groan as he kicked off his shoes and tossed his coat on the counter. What the fuck was he doing?! He liked Lance, didn’t he? He really liked him. They had slept together. They had kissed. Several times. And Lance liked Keith. 

So what the fuck was wrong with him? 

Alec. 

That’s what was wrong. 

He- he had ruined Keith. He had apparently fucked Keith up so bad that he couldn't even figure out his own shit. He couldn’t even be in a relationship with someone else. Keith was so scared of absolutely nothing- cause Lance was fucking perfect- because of his stupid fucking ex. 

Keith collapsed on his bed and hugged his pillow. And it was really sad that he wished Lance was here with him to cuddle him and help him through this. He wanted Lance to help him through his troubles with Lance. 

Yeah, that was really pathetic. 

And stupid. 

A knock at his door. 

A reluctant roll out of bed. 

Wiping the two tears he had let escape his eyelids. 

Keith opened the door and saw Shiro standing in the doorway with a pizza and a six pack of beers. 

“Hey.” His brother smiled softly. “I brought you food. Didn’t know if you were eating or not.”

“Well you could have just texted me.” Keith said as he let his brother in. 

“I was trying to give you space.” 

Space. Right. That was what he wanted. 

Right?

They set the pizza on the coffee table and ate straight from the box, each of them sipping from a dark brown bottle. He appreciated the fact that Shiro had come over. He really did. But it didn’t mean he really wanted him here. Or anyone for that matter. 

“What have you been up to?”

“Work. Gym.” Keith shrugged. 

“Are you going to Pidge’s tomorrow?”

Keith shrugged again. 

Shiro hummed. “Lance texted me.”

“Okay?” Keith didn’t look at him. Just stared ahead at the tv. 

“He asked if you were okay. He didn’t want to bother you.”

Giving Keith space. Because that’s what he wanted. 

“M’fine Shiro.” 

“.... Okay…” 

They ate in silence. 

Shiro went home. 

To give Keith space. 

Because that’s what he wanted. 

_____________

Keith had the day off the next day. Tonight was the movie night. And Keith really didn’t want to go. 

Well part of him wanted to go. 

He knew Shiro wanted him to go. He didn’t have to say it out loud for Keith to know. But he knew Lance would be there. And Keith knew it would be so awkward and uncomfortable and he really didn’t want to ruin Pidge’s movie night. 

That was the polite thing to do, right? 

 

Around lunch time, when Keith was getting back from the gym, his phone buzzed in his pants pocket. 

>> From Lance <3 (11:12 am) <<

 

He felt a ache in his chest. 

 

Lance <3 - please don’t stay home tonight because of me 

Lance <3 - everyone misses you 

Lance <3 - and it’s only awkward if we make it awkward

Lance <3 - and i still want to be friends with you 

 

Lance only texted a lot when he was nervous. Hell, Keith would have been nervous too. But fuck, Lance was right. He shouldn't stay home just because he wants to avoid Lance. That’s stupid. 

Keith spent way too long in the shower, going back and forth on whether or not he should go. He knew if he went, Lance would be all nice and friendly. And that shit would pull Keith right back in. And god he wanted it so bad. He really did. That cheeky smile and tan skin and blue eyes… 

But Keith wasn’t sure he could handle it. He wasn’t sure Lance could handle him. The unsure emotions. The nightmares. The baggage. Lance didn’t need that shit. And yeah maybe Lance did like Keith, but that didn’t mean he would like him forever. Keith had thought he would be with Alec forever. 

Turns out forever only last so long. 

______________

Keith didn’t go to the movie night. 

Instead he sat on his couch watching Friends re-runs and eating Cup Of Noodles. 

And he felt so fucking pathetic. 

_____________

>> From Lance <3 (11:22 pm) <<

Lance <3 - are you up?

 

Keith squinted at his bright phone from his spot on the couch. He hadn’t moved for the past four hours. Did he feel bad for not going to movie night. Yeah. Did he stay home anyways. Yeah. 

 

Lance <3 - im just kinda worried about you 

 

Keith wanted to throw his phone out the window, at a wall, just somewhere away from himself. Lance is so kind. S kind that it physically hurt Keith. It hurt him so much. 

 

Lance <3 - keith please just respond so i know you’re alive 

 

And Keith cared too fucking much so-

 

Keith - im fine 

Lance <3- why didn’t you come to movie night 

Keith - didn’t feel good 

Lance <3 - was it because of me 

Keith - no 

Lance <3 - are you sure 

Keith - no 

… 

… 

Lance <3 - can we talk 

Keith - we’re talking right now 

Lance <3 - i mean in person 

 

Keith’s heart was bouncing off the walls of his chest. His thumbs hovered over the screen, twitching back and forth. 

 

Keith - okay 

Lance <3 - right now?

Lance <3 - are u home? 

 

Now Keith’s heart had settled in the back of his throat. 

Keith - ok 

*

Twenty minutes later, there’s an impossibly soft knock at his door. 

Keith had changed into something that made it look like he hadn’t been sitting on his ass all day and when he opened the door Lance was standing there. Lance was a few inches taller than Keith, but god he looked so small. 

“Hi.” Lance whispered. 

Jesus, why was he being so quiet?

“Hi.”

He watched Lance rub his palm with his thumb. 

“Wanna come in?” 

“Sure.” 

Lance kept his jacket and shoes on and just stood in the entryway. 

Keith leaned against the back of the couch. 

Thumb to palm. 

Breath. 

Sigh. 

“So are you gonna go first or..?” Lance said. Still so quietly. Like if he talked too loud, Keith might run away. 

“I don’t really know what to say.” Keith shrugged. Because he didn’t. He really wished he /did/. He wished that the words he said could fix everything, including himself. 

“You-” Lance cleared his throat. “You said you needed time?” 

Keith swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing everything down into his chest, which felt like he had broken his ribs again. “I don’t know.”

Lance sighed wearily. “I’m trying to- Keith you’ve gotta give me something. If you don’t want to be with me then I’ll just go, but I just need to you to at least /talk/.” 

Just talk Keith, just fucking /talk/- 

“I- I just don’t think it will be good if we date each other now.” Keith said breathlessly, feeling like he had run a marathon. 

Lance face fell, and Keith could tell he was trying to hide. 

“O-okay.” Lance nodded, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. “Um, that’s uh, that’s okay.” 

Keith had to bite his lip to keep from crying cause /fuck/, the look on Lance’s tore him apart. 

Swirling down the drain, piece by piece. 

“Lance I- I’m sorry but-” Keith shook his head because he wasn’t supposed to cry he wasn’t supposed to cry he wasn’t. 

“I don’t know what to do. And I’m so sorry Lance because you deserve someone who just fucking works like a normal person!” Now Keith could feel hot tears sliding down his cheeks. “And I like you so damn much but I feel so fucking broken and you don’t need broken because that’s all we’re gonna be, we’re just gonna be broken and I don’t want that and you don’t /need/ that shit.” 

Lance lips hung loosely on his face. “Keith-” He took a step forward. 

“And I know that we had a thing before you left and it was so nice, because you are so fucking nice but I had just broken up with Alec and I don’t think my head was in the right place. Fuck, it’s /still/ not in the right place and it’s just so messed up and I don’t want you to have to worry over me-”

Another step. “Keith.”

“-and you should be with someone who is gonna be able to love you and I just feel so fucking empty. I like you a lot but im just so scraed and-”

Another step. “Keith.” 

A cold hand brushed over his cheek, wiping away a tear as it did. Keith stopped talking as soon as he felt the hand on his face. 

“Keith.” 

And- why wasn’t he saying anything? Lance was supposed to be talking too, yelling at him, or just something! 

He said his name again. “Keith.”

Keith lifted his eyes and he saw blue ones, squinting and softening. 

“You’re not broken.”

“Yes I am.” His voice cracked. 

Lance shook his head and brought his other hand to Keith’s damp cheeks. 

“Everyone has got shit. That doesn’t make you any less a person.”

Keith’s chest was about to burst. It was so stuffed full that if anything else was shoved in there, it would open up and spill onto the floor. And god that would feel so nice. So nice for Lance to just unzip his ribs and let everything fall away. Cause then there would be room. Room for better things. Kinder things. Softer feelings. Not the sharp roughness that was there now. 

“You deserve-”

“To hell what I deserve.” Lance shook his head earnestly, rubbing his thumb over Keith’s cheekbone, smearing salty tears. “What about what you deserve?” 

So fucking gentle. 

And what did Keith deserve? 

After all the shit he had been through, did he deserve something? Anything? 

And Keith decided there, in the middle of his living room, near midnight, that he wanted this. He deserved this. He wanted this. He really did. 

“Lance I- I’m kind of a mess-” 

“Everyone’s a little messy.” Lance said, his hands moving to tuck a lock of dark hair behind Keith’s ear. “And if you need time, I’ll wait. I like you a lot Keith. But I want to take care of you.” 

So soft. Gentle. Loving. 

Keith nodded. He wasn’t sure what he meant by his nod, but he took one step to meet Lance’s chest, burying his face into the soft t-shirt.

Long arms wrapped around him immediately, hugging him tightly while a hand played with the hairs at the nape of Keith’s neck. 

And for the first time in a while, Keith felt safe. And that was a fucking relief. Part of his chest had been cracked open just a tiny bit, and things had begun to trickle out. More and more as Lance hugged him tighter and whispered gentle things beside his ear. 

“Can you stay?” Keith asked with a scratchy voice. 

Lance responded by leading him to Keiths room, holding his hand gently. Keith laid down in bed, his long day of being awake catching up to him as his body eased into the sheets. The mattress dipped behind him as Lance pressed against his back, and arm reaching around his torso to hold him closer. Keith could feel his warm breath against his neck, the gentle rub of Lance’s foot against his own. 

And Keith felt safe. 

And that was a really big fucking relief. 

______________

When Keith woke up, Lance was gone. 

There was a note on his bedside table. 

 

Keith, 

you deserve all the love in the world. 

Love,   
Lance 

______________

 

(3 weeks later)

 

“Coffee is so much better than tea.” 

“That’s because you’re addicted! Tea is so much better for you!” 

Pidge and Matt had been arguing over which drink was superior for the past five minutes. Keith sipped his black coffee with amusement, glancing at Shiro across the way every once in a while. 

“Coffee is my life source.” Pidge said with a serious voice. 

“You have problems sis.” Matt shook his head, taking another drink of his earl grey tea, slurping obnoxiously to prove his point of its superiority. 

Pidge took a loud sip as well, locking eyes with her brother. 

“Would you two grow up?” Shiro rolled his eyes. 

The siblings both looked at Shiro for a moment, before going back to their discussion. 

Keith chuckled. The four had met for coffee on a Sunday at a small shop downtown. He was doing better. It was definitely not because of- 

“Hey Lance is here!” 

Keith turned around after Pidge’s statement to watch the tall man walk into the shop. He looked like he had just gotten done with a class, his cheeks flushed pink and his hairline slightly damp with sweat. His deep purple leggings were like a second skin, while his shirt hung off his torso loosley. 

“Hey guys! I didn’t know you were here.” Lance smiled, his eyes meeting Keith’s for a second longer than everyone else.

“Secret sibling society.” Pidge said simply. “It’s very exclusive.”

Lance chuckled. “Oh I’m sure.” 

“Pull up a chair.’ Shiro beckoned, patting the table with his hand. 

Lance smiled again and slid a chair up to the head of the table, between Keith and Shiro. 

“You have a class this morning?” Shiro asked. 

“Yeah, tap. My legs are gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow.” He pulled a water bottle from his bag and took a swig. “And I think my feet might fall off.” 

“You say that after every class.” Keith rolled his eyes. 

Lance turned his head fully to look at him and scoffed, but there was a smirk on his face. “If you danced, you’d understand McDreamy.”

Keith hid his grin by taking a drink, finishing off his coffee. 

He watched Shiro check his phone. “Well, I’ve gotta be at the venue with Allura in an hour, so I’m gonna head out.” 

Their wedding was in one week and Keith still hadn’t written his best man speech. But he hadn’t lost the rings so he was doing good. 

“Am I supposed to plan you a bachelor party?” Keith furrowed his eyebrows. He really didn’t want to do that. 

Lance perked up. “Ooh! Man I’ve got so many ideas, you should let me handle this Shiro.”

Shiro’s eyes widened. “I was thinking we could all just go out for drinks?”

“What?!” Lance waved his hands out, almost smacking Keith in the nose. “What are you forty?” 

“Careful there, I’m not too far off.” Shiro narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Oh please, you’ve got like, what nine years until then?” 

Shiro shot a look at Matt’s comment. “Anyways. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Yeah, I should get going too.” Pidge glanced at her watch. 

“Where do you have to be?” Keith looked at her, amused. 

“I’m working on some stuff.” She shrugged. 

“And I’m her ride.” Matt stretched and yawned. “We’ll see you guys later,” he said before chatting with Shiro as they left the coffee shop. 

Keith turned to Lance and blushed. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.” 

Lance chewed on his lip, holding back a smirk. “Uh, how’ve you been?”

“Good, actually.” Keith nodded. And he meant it. 

Lance smiled. “That’s good.” 

Keith smiled back. “Um, so the wedding is in a week.”

“Yeah?” Lance raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“And uh, I know you’re like, in it. But do you wanna be my date? To the wedding?” Keith nawed on the inside of his cheek. “I mean, we’ll both be there anyways but like I don’t know.”

Wow. Really smooth Keith, really smooth. 

Lance beamed. “I would love that.” 

Keith’s heart lifted into his throat. “Okay, cool.” 

“Cool.” 

“Yep.”

Lance stifled a giggle, which made Keith giggle, which made Lance laugh even harder. 

“Well, I came here to get a bagel, so I’m gonna go do that.” Lance shoved his thumb in the direction of the register. 

“Okay. I should get going.”

“Okay.” Lance’s ears were pink. 

They both stood and pushed in their chairs. They hovered near the table for a second. 

“Okay, well bye.” Keith smiled softly. 

And in one swift movement Lance leaned down and pressed a firm kiss on Keith’s lips before pulling away to blush. “Okay bye!” He waved and walked over to the line, hiding his face. 

Keith grinned and turned quickly, rubbing a hand down his face. 

And Keith was happy. He was happy that he could have the chance at a healthy relationship. He was happy that he was able to have this feeling of falling in love all over again. And some faint voice in the back of his head told him that this might be the last time he does that. 

Cause who in their right mind would let someone like Lance get away? 

 

<3 End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! Thank you so much to everyone who read it, your support means so much! I love seeing all your comments, big and small :)
> 
> I was thinking about writing a little Shiro/Allura wedding epilogue ? Let me know what you guys think of that. It would include klance as well as shallura. 
> 
> A big thanks again! I did not expect this much love for my first klance fic, so I am so happy rn!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading !! This fic has been cookin' in my brain for a while now. Please leave kudos and comments *smooches*  
> Also I am def not a doctor so only minimal research was done here. I'm just an overwhelmed college student give me a little break here pals
> 
> Tumblr: TheoreticalMindGames
> 
> lots o luvs !!  
> <3 Jay


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